OPINION

I’m Thankful I’m Not an Idiot Education Bureaucrat from Florida

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

I’m thankful for the usual things, such as my kids and being an American.

But I’m also thankful I’m not a blithering idiot like the bureaucrats at a Florida school. Here are a few details of this astounding example of utter stupidity.

A sheriff’s deputy was dispatched last week to a Florida elementary school after a girl kissed a boy during a physical education class. School brass actually reported the impromptu buss as a possible sex crime, according to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office. …The kiss apparently occurred after two girls debated over whom the boy liked more. That’s when one of the girls “went over and kissed” the boy. The redacted sheriff’s report notes that Haring “stated there were no new allegations of sexual abuse as far as she knew.”

Above and beyond the jaw-dropping idiocy of the education bureaucrats, I have two additional reactions to this story.

1. Why didn’t any girls try to kiss me in PE class? This isn’t right. There should have been redistribution so I got my fair share.

2. What on earth is wrong with Florida. Yes, they have the shame of being the home of the Florida Gators, but I’m talking about more fundamental weirdness. Many posts about government stupidity originate in the Sunshine State, including jack-booted speed trap policy, horrific stories about welfare abuse, and a kid getting suspended from school for having a toy gun.