The pro-amnesty Republicans are not just failing to read the room – they’re failing to read the entire house and most of the neighborhood. It’s insane that in 2026 we still have a substantial number of Republican Party politicians who still don’t understand that the GOP base is done tolerating the invasion of Third World foreigners in our country, uninvited intruders who are changing its culture, committing crimes, and taking our money. We don’t want a reasonable solution. We’re not looking for an immigration compromise. We want them gone. Out. Adios.
What’s so hard about that to understand?
Well, apparently everything, because there’s yet another amnesty proposal floating around, pushed by GOP politicians eager to shrimp the toes of their Chamber of Commerce donors. This particular one has to do with agricultural workers. Our farmers are generally fine people, but they’re not so fine that we’re willing to tolerate them maintaining a millions-strong serf class in our country, with their well-below-the-limbo-bar wages supplemented by federal benefits, just so they don’t have to pay a decent wage to fellow Americans. Yes, I know it’s a hassle to have to pay Americans what they’re worth, and I understand it is economically preferable to import some peasant from El Hodurguataexico to do the strawberry picking. I also get why big corporations want H-1B visas so they can import Indians to do all the STEM jobs we told kids they were going to get when we encouraged them to take out student loans. Pure economic convenience is infinitely less important than maintaining our culture, our budget, and our safety.
To us patriots, our country is more than just an Excel spreadsheet.
The economic argument is one of the two big arguments for GOP-supported amnesty. We America First types like free trade and capitalism, but we understand that neither of them exists in the pure form we’re expected to pretend exists when it comes to illegal aliens and only illegal aliens. Have you noticed that it’s the same people who are demanding the free flow of labor who absolutely refuse, in the context of tariffs, to allow us to use trade restrictions to retaliate against those foreign countries that refuse to let Americans trade freely? Weird how all obligations are unilateral and only we bear them. And as for capitalism, capitalism is not a bunch of giant corporations doing whatever they want however they want regardless of the effects on our country.
And the effects are huge. Have you had your car hit by illegal aliens driving around in crappy cars without insurance? Are your kids stuck in classrooms that sound like the UN General Assembly? How dare you expect your kids to be taught in English and for the teachers to focus on them instead of a bunch of foreigners! And have you, like countless other American citizens, had someone you love killed by an illegal alien drunk driver – the one time someone was stupid enough to pick me for a jury, it was an alien drunk driver. I found out later from the deputy district attorney, after the hung jury, that this dude was swerving back from a party celebrating getting his license back after his previous DUI conviction. Seriously. Oh, and why was it a hung jury? Because some liberal woman from Santa Monica literally said, “Well, we can’t expect them to know it’s wrong to drink and drive.”
Oh, and don’t forget the countless Americans raped and murdered by illegal aliens. Have you noticed how, to the amnesty folks, American lives don’t matter? We sure have.
Every time you pay taxes, you’re paying for illegal and legal aliens. When you go down to the emergency room, you have to wait four hours to see a doctor because the cast of the world’s lowest-rent telenovela is crowding the room ahead of you. And the best part is that you know you are going to pay for their visit. We keep hearing about how these aliens – legal and illegal – are a massive economic benefit, so why are they all getting government benefits? If they’re so hard-working and essential to our economy, why can’t they pay for their own stuff? Why do we have to pay for them to be here? But, of course, we’re paying for them to be here so the overlords benefiting from the existence of the serf class can make even more money. Talk about adding insult to injury – a bunch of people you don’t even want here are here, and you’ve got to pay for it, effectively picking up the tab for the people lecturing you about how you suck for not wanting to be swamped with foreigners.
And that’s the other big argument, the lecturing one, where we’re told by members of our own party that we are bad people, bigots, racists, xenophobes, and sinners because we don’t want the entire Third World moving into our neighborhood. Here’s the thing about America – we built America so we wouldn’t be like the rest of the world, and we don’t want the rest of the world coming here and making this place just as crappy as their garbage homelands. I’ve lived on three continents. Two of them suck.
You are not morally obligated to allow every alien who knocks on the door to come in here simply because they want to. But some Republicans don’t seem to understand that. Take nominally Republican Representative Don Bacon of Nebraska, who makes Mitt Romney look like Ted Cruz, please. He recently tweeted out:
“Securing the border & deporting dangerous people & folks unwilling to work are wise & popular policy positions. But we’ve now crossed into inhumane, indecent, & Un-Christian actions by some of the deportations we are doing. Here’s one case. I have many other examples. America must be better than this.”
I tweeted that this was “Pathetic. Just pathetic,” to which Nebraska’s Ned Flanders responded, “It’s pathetic to deport people like Mariana who I write about here. You’ll have to deal with the Almighty.” Apparently, you don’t have to render unto Caesar and obey terrestrial law if your sob story pulls on some squish’s heartstrings. Note that this get-out-of-obeying-the-law-free thing would never apply to you as an American citizen. It's only for the people his donors want to employ instead of Americans.
In Rep. Bacon’s defense, he was an Air Force general, and is therefore presumptively a buffoon. If you’re wondering why we went 20 years without decisively winning a war back before Trump, goofs like Bacon are Exhibit A. Gee, I guess that’s not much of a defense.
Look at how he argues his supine position. First, he fakes border hawkishness harder than a Bulwark staffer’s wife on her wedding night. He pretends to agree that we have a right to borders, which he doesn’t believe. Then, he pretends to concede that we can deport people, well, at least “dangerous” ones and ones who are unwilling to work. But he doesn’t really believe that. The next lines are where the truth comes out. See, it’s “inhumane, indecent, and un-Christian (sic)” to actually enforce the laws that the Congress he is part of passed into law.
What a remarkable perspective. Not only is he denying himself the power to make laws that his cornfed voters foolishly entrusted him with, but he’s attacking democracy itself. If democracy means anything, it means the people's power to pass laws through their representatives. But if pols just sort of decide, “Well, no, we’re not going to enforce this law because we don’t like it,” that’s a problem. How do you have a democracy if the people’s will is intentionally frustrated? If you can pass laws but not enforce them, do you have a democracy at all? Of course not. That’s not a problem to the left, and it’s not a problem to schmucks like Don Bacon. After all, he was a general, and active-duty generals frequently have trouble understanding that they’re no longer in the military and they don’t get to tell us what to do. He’s just cloaking his attempt in bogus morality.
It is not moral to ignore the manifested will of the American people, as demonstrated by the laws their elected representatives have passed. Nor is it moral to demand that Americans submit to the will of foreigners with regard to how our culture is going to be. You can’t bring 30 million people into a country and not change it, but you know what? We don’t want to change our country. We like America as it is. To the extent we’re going to allow immigrants to come in, we want immigrants who will wholeheartedly accept and adopt American culture and give their unequivocal loyalty to their new nation. You don’t see that when a bunch of Mexicans riot in the streets while waving Mexican flags. A lot of these people were told we have to not only admit them but actively subsidize people who hate us. Look at all the Islamic freaks we’ve allowed in, from Somali fraudsters to the Jihadi Caucus in Congress. Any system that admits brother-loving communist Americaphobe Ilhan Omar is broken.
Fortunately, Don Bacon is going away after this term. Unfortunately, there will still be Republicans in Congress eager to lecture us about how Milton Friedman would’ve demanded we throw open the doors to our welfare state to the entire Third World. And they will also tell us that we’re mean for enforcing the laws we passed, that aliens should get a free pass, though no one ever offered us a free pass when we violated a law. But of course, we don’t violate laws, which is increasingly making us feel like suckers.
Time to double down on our inflexible demand that every single illegal alien go home and that we close down mass immigration until we assimilate those we let remain here. Will it cost us a little more money when we go to buy grapes and kale? Yeah. But will the return on investment be exponentially greater in terms of solidifying our culture, reestablishing the rule of law, cutting the hundreds of billions from the swollen budget, and saving the Americans who would otherwise be raped and murdered? Hell yeah.
The only acceptable GOP position is this: Deport them all.
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