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You might think that if you wanted to get the sympathy of the American people, you would start by not acting like total garbage. But government employees don’t seem to be able to do that. They’re whiny, annoying, and entitled, making them utterly unsympathetic. Actually, they’re worse than unsympathetic. They’re straight-up perverts. In just the last week, we found out that the people at the National Security Agency, a premier spy agency, spent their work hours online in bizarre sex chat rooms, talking about trans weirdness and stuff that I’m not even going to put down on paper. Others decided that they would fly upside-down flags off mountains in national parks, and others decided to put AI clips of Donald Trump licking Elon Musk’s toes on the cafeteria TV. You know, if you have time for this kind of antics, you probably don’t fulfill a critical function.
Well, we know that. Them? They have not got a clue.
Elon’s demand that everybody justify their existence with a five-bullet point explanation of what they did last week drove most of these folks around the bend. But those of us in the real world explain ourselves all the time. That’s not unusual. That’s very typical. In the real world, the person writing your check wants to know that you are providing value. But government flunkies don’t believe they should be accountable to normal Americans. They have the idea that their inflated pensions and deflated workloads are theirs by right, something they should get even though they’re terrible.
And they are terrible. Everybody’s had an awful experience with a government employee who fails to perform his, her, or their assigned task in anything like a competent manner. Normal Americans don’t see them as heroes sacrificing for the greater good. They see them as feckless flunkies mooching their way to retirement. Yet, the Democrats are going all in on them, supported by the regime media, of course. Everybody’s a hero. Everybody’s essential. Why, some park ranger dreamed of being a park ranger and now he can’t be a park ranger. Boo-hoo. Stop everything! He’s got to be a park ranger! But you know, there were a lot of oilfield workers who wanted to work on the Keystone pipeline, and that didn’t work out for them, but that was OK. That wasn’t a problem. That wasn’t an issue. No, the only people who matter are the soft-handed cubicle drones who don’t even work in a cubicle – they’ve been working at home for the last four years, and by working, I mean, shaming, scamming, and surfing the interwebs.
There was one particularly hilarious story about somebody who had to get up a couple of hours before work, make her way into work, work, and then go home twice a week. How the hell is anybody supposed to do that? Except all of us do or did that for our entire careers. Why are these people special? Well, they’re not.
Normal Americans realize that they are not, but the Democrats and their immediate allies don’t seem to understand this. They’ve gotten into their heads that the way they’re going to preserve these jobs forever – because government workers are overwhelmingly Democrats, of course – is to tell us tales about how they are essential and absolutely necessary and doing great work and blah blah blah blah blah. But everybody knows that’s not true. Everyone knows that’s not remotely true. Everyone knows that’s not even on the same continent as true. Yet they’re doubling down on this.
That’s just the people fired for being unnecessary. The ones fired for being garbage, like the J6 prosecutors and such, are really upset. Why, they were American heroes prosecuting a bunch of people for the crime of taking selfies! They are absolutely unable to understand the perspective of normal Americans, but why should they? They’re not normal Americans. Normal Americans don’t get a free ride. Normal Americans have to produce. Normal Americans have to add value or they get shown in the door. Now that Elon Musk is doing the same thing to them as we’ve experienced forever, they’re freaking out. It’s puzzling why they think they’ll get the American people nodding along in support of this special class of do-nothing timeservers.
This is why I fully support their campaign. Democrats, feel free to take the side of the government flunkies against normal, hard-working Americans. You go right ahead and explain why we should come up with money to support their work-free lifestyle. Double down on it. Clarify the line between those of us who work for a living and those of us who are government employees. Let’s see how that works out for you. But with the polls showing that Donald Trump is at his highest approval numbers ever, I think we know how this is going to work out.
Follow Kurt on Twitter @KurtSchlichter. Get the newest volume in the Kelly Turnbull People’s Republic series of conservative action novels set in America after a notional national divorce, the bestselling Amazon #1 Military Thriller, Overlord! And get his new novel about terrorism in America, The Attack! My super-secret email address is kurt.Schlichter@townhall.com
