Hey GOP establishment, how about, for once, you cause your opponents pain instead your allies? You’ve managed to win back both houses of Congress – by which I mean we conservatives won them back for you – and since then you’ve accomplished exactly nothing. President Fail is handing the mullahs the Bomb, Obamacare remains a thing, and Planned Parenthood is still dismembering babies on our dime. The president has a bully pulpit and you’re satisfied with the legislative branch being a weenie pulpit.
But the creaky Boehner and McConnell machine can choose to succeed at something other than failure. It can use the Congress to deal some pain to the left. Sure, that will require guts and a commitment to the conservative cause, but maybe the rise of Donald Trump has scared these squishes enough to fake having them.
Here is some potential legislation that might do some good if enacted, but more importantly, will put the Democrats in both houses in unpleasant, painful positions going into an election year. Yeah, I know, the filibuster…blah blah blah. How about we opt to nuke it before The Lightbringer’s new buddies in Tehran decide to nuke Tel Aviv – and before the grassroots of your party decides to nuke you a year from November?
1. The Second Amendment Protection Act. For years, Democrats in state and local governments have infringed upon the civil rights of Americans by unjustly preventing them from exercising their right to keep and bear arms throughout our great nation as God intended. Anti-gun laws in cryptofascist states and localities have unfairly victimized far too many decent Americans. You don't stop being an American protected by the Bill of Rights simply because you set foot into the State of New York. That's why we need a law that will allow all American citizens the right to exercise their Second Amendment freedom to keep and bear arms, concealed or openly as each citizen chooses, free of the constraints imposed by gunophobic state and local governments. Yeah, there will be some whining about federalism from the Republican bow tie n’ perpetual virginity crowd, but who cares?
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2. The National Voter ID and Election Integrity Act. Why can't the federal government generate a national voting ID card and distribute it free to Americans who can't manage to find their local DMV? The law, of course, will also require a photo ID for any federal election voter. A huge majority of Americans recognize that asking for ID is no infringement except upon those who want to commit fraud, or who are frankly too damn stupid to be voting anyway.
3. The Liberal Donor Class Windfall Profits Tax. It’s time that Democrats’ favored interest groups paid their fair share! After all, those tech guys in Silicon Valley didn’t build that. They got the benefit of California’s fine infrastructure, outstanding schools, and superb business environment [*Struggles to not giggle hysterically*]. How about a 50% tax on their earnings?
The same with Hollywood – it’s time for the people who support Obama with lavish fundraisers to raise some funds for working American families! Spielberg, Streisand, all you Kardashians – 50% of your earnings is a small price to pay for social justice!
Oh, and any income from lobbying after serving in any governmental position? Yep, taxed 50%. Or may 90%. For America.
4. The Use the Taxes on Drivers for Drivers Act. You know that gas tax you pay every time you fill up the tank? Much of it is passed out to leftist constituencies to pay for buses, subways and bike lanes. How about a law that forces gas taxes to be used solely for improving roads? No more subsidies to underwrite Democrat inner city bus systems and light rail boondoggles. No more pleasing rich liberals in dorky cycling shorts by forcing us normal people to pay for their stupid bike lanes.
5. The College Student Civil Rights Act. Let's make it easy to sue your university. Academia is a festering pustule on our society, and it’s time to lance the boil and drain the progressivism!
We've all seen how young men are victimized by froth-mouthed feminists eager to convict them of the crime of existing while male. We've also seen how goose-stepping administrators and commie professors seek to control the free-speech of these young
Americans. It's time to protect our students' rights by applying expanded federal civil rights protections to the students of any university that takes even a penny of government funds. Freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and the right to due process – now, who could ever be against those [*snickers deviously*]? And if the student wins, he gets his attorneys fees!
There are many possible new laws that would be both great public policy and annoy our opponents. GOP congresslosers just need to locate the fortitude to pass them. Sure, Obama will veto them, but it’ll force his few remaining minions on Capitol Hill to take stands their constituents will hate.
The GOP establishment hacks will resist because they think they've gone to D.C. to govern. Well, we don't want or need governing. We want and need the destruction of the liberal edifice Barack Obama and his cronies have built.
We need to use every bit of power at our disposal against our opponents. No, it's not as much fun as guzzling free Dewar's on the tab of some K Street lobbyist, but too bad. GOP establishment, get off your sorry rears and get something done for a change.
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