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OPINION

Say Hello to My Li’l Friend

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
AP Photo/Mark Schiefelbein

There’s a reason America is the global superpower—and it isn’t because we host drag brunches on aircraft carriers or let confused TikTokers dictate foreign policy.

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No, it’s because we’ve got a “li’l friend” stashed in the hangar—a 30,000-pound Bunker Buster bomb that can punch a hole straight through the gates of hell. And oh, by the way: only *we* have it. Only *we* can fly it. And only *one* man on planet Earth has the brass to use it properly.

And no, I’m not talking about Joe “Where Am I?” Biden.

I’m talking about President Donald J. Trump—the only man with the judgment, strength, and clarity to end Iran’s nuclear program without ever setting foot on Iranian soil.

Let’s be clear: what’s happening in the Middle East is not just “tensions.” This isn’t a lovers’ spat between two hot-headed neighbors. Iran is a terror state with apocalyptic dreams and a near-religious obsession with annihilating Israel—and anyone else who gets in the way. They’ve funded, trained, and armed Hezbollah, Hamas, the Houthis, and anyone else willing to strap a bomb to their chest in exchange for martyrdom points. And now they’ve finally ticked off the wrong country.

Israel’s been patient. More patient than I would be. But they’ve had it. And rightly so. Because they know what we know: time is not on our side. Every day Iran’s centrifuges spin, the world inches closer to mushroom cloud roulette.

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Related:

DONALD TRUMP IRAN

The problem? Israel’s arsenal—while brave, bold, and brilliantly executed—can’t reach the deepest part of Iran’s nuclear program. The centrifuges are buried deeper than Hunter Biden’s laptop scandal.

Enter the MOP: the Massive Ordnance Penetrator. It’s 30,000 pounds of problem-solving diplomacy. It’s the kind of hardware you don’t need to fire twice—because there won’t *be* a second round.

We, the United States, are the *only* ones who can deliver it. Our stealth bombers can cruise at altitudes so high that Iran’s air defenses wouldn’t even know what hit them until they woke up to find their nuclear ambitions buried beneath 12 stories of radioactive rubble.

Trump—being Trump—won’t go trigger-happy. He never does. He’s not a neocon looking for regime change or a warmonger needing to prove anything. Trump’s doctrine is simple: no boots, no nation-building, no apologies.

And that’s what makes this plan brilliant.

You give Iran 12 hours. Maybe even 6. Tell 'em straight up: “We’re coming at 2:17am. Clear the area.” Then drop one—maybe two—of these beautiful bald eagles right into the heart of the Iranian nuke complex like it’s FedEx Overnight. After impact? Wheels up. Everyone home for breakfast. No invasion. No Americans on the ground. No Stars and Stripes flying over Tehran.

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Let the Iranian people—who’ve suffered for decades under the tyrants in turbans—decide how to rebuild. If they want to keep the regime that got their scientists turned into salsa, that’s on them. If not, maybe they find someone less interested in funding global terror and more interested in, say, running water.

Remember what Trump did in Syria? Assad crossed the red line Obama drew in crayon. Trump didn’t hesitate. While enjoying a lovely slice of chocolate cake at Mar-a-Lago, he looked up from dessert, gave the order, and boom—59 missiles turned Assad’s chemical weapons depot into a pothole. He wiped the smirk off a dictator’s face without a single American casualty. And then went back to dessert.

That's leadership.

That’s what deterrence looks like.

Compare that to the current approach: holding hands with the U.N., sending pallets of cash, and praying the ayatollahs find inner peace during Ramadan. The Biden years were the geopolitical equivalent of a school counselor whispering, “Let’s use our words,” while Iran sharpened a knife behind their back.

Trump understands peace through strength. He doesn’t want war, but he also doesn’t send “strongly worded letters” to terrorists. He sends bombs. Big ones. And they work.

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Make no mistake, the moment we drop one of these MOPs on Iran’s nuke labs, two things happen: 1) Israel breathes a sigh of relief, and 2) China and North Korea start reconsidering their weekend plans.

This isn't just about Iran. It’s about sending a global message: If you dig deep to build death machines, we’ll dig deeper. And we’ll do it from the sky, without ever sending a Marine to knock on your door.

And the name? The MOP? Yeah, fitting. Because after this drop, all Iran will have left… is a broom and a dustpan.

So let’s stop pretending we’re negotiating with rational actors. Let’s stop waiting for international consensus from people who think gender-neutral pronouns stop missiles. And let’s start letting our enemies know: America still has teeth. And under Trump, those teeth bite.

As Scarface would say—Say hello to my li’l friend.

And this time, he’s flying first class.

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