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OPINION

Possibly the Dumbest Example of Waste DOGE Has Discovered (So Far)

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
AP Photo/Jose Luis Magana

There’s something about being exposed that causes stupidity; a kneejerk reaction to push back against reality, no matter how obvious. As DOGE and President Donald Trump work to expose and fight government waste, fraud and abuse (how sad is it that they have to FIGHT Democrats to end those things?), more ways in which the federal government has been doing those things is coming to light. 

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As a result of this disinfecting glow of sunlight, people are losing their jobs. While that’s never fun, those jobs are simply unnecessary. Since Democrats have adopted a “If Trump is for it, we’re against it…whatever IT is” mantra, they end up looking ridiculous most of the time. 

That’s what happens when you don’t think, you simply respond. It’s a super power Trump has, he can make his opponents metaphorically punch themselves in the face while defending some of the dumbest, most wasteful and corrupt spending human beings have ever conceived. 

One of the dumbest and most hilarious cases of this very phenomenon was on display in a story in the Washington Post this week. It opens with this paragraph, “At California’s Yosemite National Park, the Trump administration fired the only locksmith on staff on Friday. He was the sole employee with the keys and the institutional knowledge needed to rescue visitors from locked restrooms.”

I have questions.

Why is there a locksmith on staff, as a locksmith, when you could just contract with one when needed? How often in your life have you said, “Damnit, why isn’t there a locksmith on staff?!” At the most, I’d say one time. But the odds are heavily in favor of never.

Next, why is this guy the only person with keys? Is that the source of his job security? “Fire me and you’ll never get into any building or room again, because I will destroy every key!” Doubtful, as other locksmiths exist, not to mention the fact that changing a lock isn’t all that hard.

Since that’s unlikely, why not just make more keys – make a lot of copies so park employees are lousy with them to the point that it doesn’t matter who is working or what day it is, every door can be opened? Because government is stupid, that’s why. The bureaucracy would rather pay a salary, benefits and fund a pension for someone who likely only gets called on once or twice a year, if that, than act in any way that could be confused with common sense.

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DOGE

That lack of common sense brings us to the last part of that paragraph. What “institutional knowledge” is required to unlock doors, and how often are idiots locking themselves in bathrooms? More than that, how do you lock yourself in a bathroom to the point of needing rescue from a locksmith?

If this is a problem at Yosemite worthy of having someone on permanent staff to address, maybe that person should have been ordered to change the clearly confusing, likely malfunctioning locks over the course of their employment so as to avoid the middle of the night calls to rescue people teetering near death from the fate of starvation in a public bathroom?

Are a disproportionately high number of potential Darwin Award Winners drawn to Yosemite? If they were, there was likely millions in government grants to study why.

This is just one example of “Things that would never be tolerated in the private sector” that fly in government because no one ever bothered to check that DOGE is exposing, the Post chose it because they thought it would elicit sympathy from their readers. 

I promise you there are hundreds of thousands, if not millions of examples of other things too stupid to believe that our government pays for because no one is accountable for wasting money or cares. 

This is the system Democrats and Republicans created over the years, but only Democrats defend now. They wouldn’t run their family’s finances this way, and if they ran a company’s books the way they allow government to function they’d all be in jail. 

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Remember that the next time you have an argument with one of your liberal friends about how “evil” Trump and Elon Musk are. Of course, there’s a better than average chance you’d be having that argument through a bathroom door with your friend “trapped” inside as they await the locksmith’s arrival, which makes the whole conversation pretty easy to avoid. 

Derek Hunter is the host of a free daily podcast (subscribe!) and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses, and host of the weekly “Week in F*cking Review” podcast where the news is spoken about the way it deserves to be. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter.

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