Why You Shouldn’t Vote

Derek Hunter
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Posted: Nov 02, 2014 12:01 AM
Why You Shouldn’t Vote

Editor's note: This is a work of satire. You'll get it by the second page.

Look, I’m not going to lie to you – your vote matters. But let’s be honest, there are Republicans on the ballot who aren’t very conservative. Most of them don’t agree with me on everything and surely don’t agree with you on everything. In fact, many of them are downright awful.

So if you find yourself in a state where the Senate race is close, and you don’t like some of the things the Republican candidate stands for – just stay home.

A message must be sent: We conservatives could not beat all the people we don’t like in the primary, so we’re not going to vote.

That’ll show the establishment. That’ll show the country. That’ll show the future.

So if you’re a conservative in Colorado, don’t vote for Cory Gardner. If you’re in Iowa, show that Joni Ernst what’s what! Live in North Carolina? Who does that Thom Tillis think he is, anyway? From Kentucky? Let Mitch McConnell know who’s boss! Georgia? David Perdue? I don’t think so. Kansas? Teach that Pat Roberts a lesson! Live in New Hampshire? Scott Brown – yuck, am I right?

Look, if conservatives don’t draw a line in 2014, when will it be drawn?

Just because tea party and conservative candidates couldn’t win a majority in primary challenges doesn’t mean they aren’t the majority. It was dirty tricks and the establishment that screwed you … everyone knows that. So show the establishment you won’t take not getting your way anymore.

Honestly, what’s the point of voting for a candidate who agrees with you a majority of the time? Don’t vote. Let someone who you agree with on nothing win, and then next time – in six years – that person comes up for reelection, maybe the Republican Party will come to its senses and let you get your way.

I mean, what would be better for the country – Harry Reid or Mitch McConnell as Senate Majority Leader? Obviously Harry Reid. Mitch McConnell is a squish on a few things, wouldn’t run blocker for President Obama and wouldn’t be a rubberstamp for any Supreme Court nominee, or any court, for that matter. Where’s the lesson for the establishment for that?

Sure, I know, the country will have a court system packed with activist judges, and the president will use his magic pen and phone to grant amnesty to millions of illegal aliens and who knows what else, but principle will be maintained. That’s a moral victory, right? Those count for something in politics, right? They have to count for something…

Of course, they count for nothing. Yet that nothing is what many millions of Americans, including many of you (judging by comments on other columns in which I’ve dealt with this topic), are prepared to vote for by stubbornly refusing to vote for a candidate who isn’t “your candidate.”

Sorry, your candidate lost, and your remaining choice sucks. I get it, I’ve been there. But so what! Get over yourself. Everyone who voted in the primary and your choice lost. It happens. It’s part of life. So you’re just going to quit?

If you want to right the ship of state, how did you think that would work? Your one chosen candidate would somehow undo half a century of constitutional disregard in 20 minutes? Of course not. It’s all going to be incremental. Nothing this big turns on a dime. But before it can get any better it has to stop getting worse.

Harry Reid remaining majority leader in the Senate means things continue to get worse. Barack Obama packing the courts with like-minded judges means things will continue to get worse.

There will come a point of no return, where we will tip over that ledge from which there is no coming back. If you stay home, or you cast a “message” vote for some third party nothing-burger, that’s what you’re voting for. That’s what you’ll get, and that’s the country you’ll be leaving for your kids to inherit.

A vote for anyone other than the Republican, no matter who that Republican is, is a vote for Harry Reid and Barack Obama.

You want to purge the party? Do it from a position of strength. I’m all for a battle royale for the soul of the Republican Party, but not until AFTER the Democrats are vanquished.

Tuesday, go vote. Vote for the Republicans. Send a message that you are not a moody, unreliable person who will take your ball and go home if you don’t get your way, but that you accept your party’s primary decision. It’s a decision you don’t like. It’s a decision you’ll fight in the next primary if necessary. But for the good of the country, you’ll live in “now” and work for the future.

Anything else is a vote for progressives, and anyone who does that is no conservative.