This Sunday, the 93rd Academy Awards will finally be staged, roughly two months later than usual due to Covid protocols, and that viral scourge is leading to an odd decision for an event that usually is known for its oddities. Take that foundation, place it in California, and roll in the pandemic and we are assured of seeing some strange behavior.
Last year’s ceremony went off just prior to the outbreak and the shutdown of the country, so the celebrities were not involved in the practice of Covid couture. Sunday, however, we are sure to see many a luminary resplendent with designer masks, likely bedazzled or adorned in colors to appropriately match gowns. I especially look forward to the red-carpet interviews.
VAPID TV HOSTESS: So, who are you wearing?
ACTRESS: This was created for me by 3M, a wildly popular designer out of Minnesota!
This will at least be a refreshing change from those activist colored ribbons they used to wear. Oh wait; they will probably be able to display messages on the front of their live-saving medical masks, from Donna Karan. (Groan.)
Given that the awards show is taking place in California you had to know some curious decisions would emerge. This is the state, after all, that had recently allowed for limited indoor dining seating in restaurants and bars, but there was a requirement that they could not have the televisions turned on. This was based on science. The state has also made numerous waivers on the entertainment industry during the lockdown mandates. Recall, the flustered restaurant owner who was told her outdoor tent seating would be invalidated during a second lockdown -- but 50 feet from hers a TV production was permitted to have 3 identical tents for outdoor catering of the cast and crew.
Ah yes, about the masks. Just how will these preening lecturers out of Hollywood grapple with the paradox of both wanting to virtue signal on the morality of wearing masks, to save lives, but also feeding the need to be seen fully for the global audience? Well the producers (including director Steven Soderbergh) have arranged for a solution. During the telecast the elite and famous will be able to doff their face-gear. However, during commercial breaks and while in attendance to the outer areas, masks will be required. It appears the science has shown that klieg lights kill the Covid virus.
To also limit exposure there will be two courtyards just off from the arena where the majority of those in attendance will be staged while not in the main hall. This is done because they are totally taking the pandemic seriously. "It's going to be a very sincere show," says producer Jesse Collins, who recently produced the sincere Super Bowl halftime show. "It's also going to be optimistic. It's going to show us where we can go in the future. And I think that's exactly what the Oscars needs to be at this time."
This is what is going to bring us out of the rigors of a locked down pandemic slog of a nightmare -- preening celebrities lecturing us about what is wrong with the country. This will be the fun parlor game to play, apart from predicting the winner in the categories for the films few people saw -- what will the political speeches be covering? Donald Trump is no longer there to inspire their seething hatred on the happiest night of their career, so what will set off the privileged set on Sunday?
Since Joe Biden is the president, there is no way they will say anything critical of the man, so I would wager that the border crisis is off the table. Immigration, which for a few ceremonies was a loudly professed issue during the Trump years, will be avoided outright, now that the problem is far worse under Biden. This means the self-serious need to segue to another problem in need of their solution.
My bet is guns will be the focus, with a close tie-in to the BLM/Defund the Police notion. Another item we will surely hear about is the alleged restrictions placed on voting rights. After all, the press and many famous minds have been getting the issue of the Georgia voting law incorrect for weeks already -- why not step up to the microphones and detail for a global audience how you have no grasp on the details in the law?
While the ratings indicate that record low viewership is a probability, some still brave the circus presentation. It proves to be a tedious night, so hit me up for cocktail ideas to help you get through the ceremony.
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