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OPINION

MSNBC's Motto: Lean Racist

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If one were trying to prove in court that MSNBC is crazily biased, you could do worse than submitting Rachel Maddow's Tuesday night show.

She was discussing the recently released June 2007 tape of Barack Obama using Hillary Clinton's black accent to tell an audience of black preachers that the U.S. government doesn't care about black people, Maddow explained with her typical leaden sarcastic wit that the tape reveals Obama's "secret plan to be way more black than he seems to you now."

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(Though it's counterintuitive, apparently some higher-ups at MSNBC are convinced that Rachel's adorableness is working and they want more of it.)

Yes, it's that Obama is black, that's what the tape illustrates.

In the speech, Obama lied about America to portray the nation as irredeemably racist. Channeling Kayne West, Obama said the government doesn't "care about" black people in New Orleans. This was based on his assertion that New York City received more help from the federal government after 9/11, and Florida got more after Hurricane Andrew.

Unlike blacks in New Orleans, he said, those victims were considered "part of the American family."

Obama was a sitting senator when he spouted this nonsense. He had to know that months earlier, $100 billion in federal disaster relief had been sent to the Gulf states hit by Katrina -- or five times more than the disaster relief funds sent to New York after 9/11.

All this was edited out of the clips Rachel played from Obama's speech. This allowed her to smirk: "This is how (Obama) snuck into the White House, right? People didn't actually know he was this black, and if they had known he was this black, they never would have elected him. That's the idea here, right?"

Actually, Rachel, I think the point is that this half-black, private-schooled Hawaiian, born in 1961, is desperate for reasons to be angry at white America, so he can play-act Ralph Ellison in "The Invisible Man."

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As noted in that great new book "Mugged: Racial Demagoguery From the Seventies to Obama," it's always the person with the least black heritage who is angriest at the anti-racism meetings. The ones who have never actually experienced anything resembling Jim Crow -- in fact, nothing but white suck-uppery -- are the most consumed with rage about things having nothing to do with their lives.

You know who's even angrier than the half-black Hawaiian about nonexistent racism in America? Pasty-white liberals on MSNBC.

Last week, Mitt Romney used the word "apartment." That font of racial understanding, Chris Matthews (who has no black friends, neighbors or employees), revealed on MSNBC that the word "apartment" is racist.

So please add that to your New Racist Dictionary, along with others common to native English speakers, such as "law and order," "welfare," "Chicago," "kitchen cabinet," "golfing" and "the." ("The" became racist when Donald Trump said he had a "great relationship with the blacks.")

Liberals reason that if a Republican said it, it must be racist, and proceed from there.

In 2008, John McCain's campaign ran a surprisingly effective ad called "Celeb." On MSNBC, it was adjudged racist.

The ad began with a clip of a Berlin crowd ecstatically cheering Obama (historically, the mark of a great leader), followed by photos of Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, as the narrator called Obama "the biggest celebrity in the world." Then, the music turned ominous, and the narrator listed Obama's high-tax policies and opposition to offshore drilling, before saying that this was "the real Obama."

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It must have taken hours to come up with something racist about that, but Jonathan Alter and Keith Olbermann whipped out their "Captain America Super-Racist Decoder Rings":

Alter, Newsweek columnist at the time: "The larger issue, I think, is clear -- which is they're trying to portray him as being uppity. Now, is that racist? I'm not sure."

Olbermann: "Well, if we're playing Password, and you say 'uppity,' the word that comes into my mind, that's racist, yes."

Wait -- who said "uppity," again? Did any Republican call Obama uppity? No. Did the ad call Obama uppity? No. Alter said "uppity": It's about Obama's uppityness. That much we know. Is that racist? That's for the public to decide. I remain neutral.

The ad had nothing to do with Obama being uppity. It was nearly the opposite, comparing him to lightweight celebrities.

In 2010, even Scott Brown's pickup truck came in for a charge of racism on MSNBC. Olbermann said that what Scott Brown voters truly opposed was having "an African-American president."

When this insane point was met with mild resistance from Howard Fineman, Keith produced the smoking gun: "What were the Scott Brown ads, though? Every one of the Scott Brown ads had him in a pickup truck."

I wonder if it was an "uppity" pickup truck ...

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As soon as the racism hunters at MSNBC come up with a final and complete list of racist code words, they should release it to the public. But it needs to be aired on a network with lots of viewers, so they better send it to Fox News.

In a world bristling with imaginary "dog-whistle" racists, white liberal racists prefer bullhorns.

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