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OPINION

Muslim Condom Bomber Attacks America on Christmas Day

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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While the Thought Police want us to trip over ourselves trying not to offend poor, misunderstood Muslims in the classroom, the newsroom or on the battlefield, another one of their privileged and educated peace lovers, Umar Abdulmutallab, attempted to “bother” 289 Americans (I’m guessing mostly Christians) on a flight bound for Detroit on the day we celebrate Jesus’ birth.

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I have a message for Umar: Dude, what were you thinking? You’re kind of whizzing on Obama/Napolitano’s “Islam is Awesome! Campaign” by trying to ignite your crotch at 20,000 feet on a Christmas flight packed with innocent folks. That “man-made disaster” would likely have forever derailed Barack’s BS Express as far as Islam is concerned.

Arguing with Idiots By Glenn Beck

Yep, Abdulmutallab, if you had succeeded at “troubling” those passengers and “inconveniencing” many, many families, Obama and his ilk would have had a helluva time keeping up the chipper vocab when it comes to explaining away you and your … uh … nonviolent … um, religion . . . especially considering that it hasn’t even been two months since your brother from another mother, Nidal Malik Hasan, killed 13 American military men and women and wounded 30 others on our own military base.

Indeed, Umar, Obama and his boys have had a brutal time trying to divert attention from Hasan and his murderous Muslim mayhem, and then here you go again jamming jihad in everybody’s face.

You’re not helping BHO with his PR. People are getting suspicious. People are beginning to think that Barack is lying through his purple lips, Napolitano is a nabob, and that the exact opposite of what they say about Islam is the truth. In addition, people are starting to, how should I put it . . . get concerned . . . that this PC smack regarding Islam is setting our nation up to get our butts handed to us—as in big time.

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Another thing I can’t figure out, Mr. Umar, is why you attacked us on Christmas day. What the heck is up with that? Haven’t you read the new Candy Ass Rule Book? Didn’t you know you’re not ‘sposed to attack us on our sacred holidays because we don’t attack you on yours? Didn’t you get that wall post on Facebook?

In case you didn’t hear about the Polite War we’re trying to wage with you, the gist of what we’ll do for you and your people who are trying to slaughter us is this: We will not attack you during your sacrosanct celebrations.

Matter of fact, we’ll go a step further and court martial our troops when they play a game of pin the tail on Mohammed at Gitmo, or flush a Koran, or accidentally serve Achmed Jell-O. Not only that, but we’ll prosecute our intel ops who ferret out your Islamic mass-murderous plots, and we’ll promote Muslim maniacs to major within our own ranks.

This sensitive approach to war is supposed to have the intended effect, if you wouldn’t mind, of preventing you from blowing up planes full of American Christians on Christ’s birthday, thank you very much. It’s just a suggestion. And it would be nice if you would play our game, as well.

However, if you don’t capitulate to our level of niceness, we will continue to maintain that level because we want to prove to the world that we’re pleasant even if thousands more Americans have to be killed. Again, we’re not pressuring you to stop the Christmas attacks, we’re just trying to give you something to think about while you’re screaming in tongues and burning our American flag.

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Until then we might have to inconvenience some of you who wish to fly our friendly skies. Yep, you might start getting profiled because everybody and their dog think you suck and don’t trust your type much anymore. No offense, of course.

Oh, and for your information, I hear Kevin Jennings has volunteered to do the TSA pat downs and cavity searches on those who fit the “man-made disaster” profile. I hear he’s very thorough.

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