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The Latest RFK Jr. Story Is Beyond Surreal

Matt Vespa
Matt Vespa  |  August 04, 2024 10:35 PM

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is the basis for two of the most bizarre stories in the 2024 cycle. The first was that his brain had been partially eaten by worms, which he blamed on consuming too many tuna sandwiches. Kennedy has zero shot of winning the 2024 election, but his handlers wanted to tell us that even with parts of his brain eaten by parasites, it shouldn’t impede him from carrying out duties as our chief executive. Now, he’s the man behind the dead bear cub that was discovered in Central Park ten years ago. 

Kennedy was trying to get ahead of a story about him regarding this incident, so he decided to tell actor Roseanne Barr, who said he had witnessed the car collision that killed the bear. It was still in good condition, so he wanted to skin and eat it later. Kennedy laughably says this was due to the redneck in him. I don’t even know what this means; he’s a Kennedy, the furthest thing from rednecks. Circumstances changed, which led to him dumping the bear in Central Park, staging it as if the cub had been hit by a bicycle (via NYT): 

Mr. Kennedy posted a video detailing the bizarre story on social media apparently ahead of an article in The New Yorker. 

“Looking forward to seeing how you spin this one,” he said, tagging the magazine. 

In the video, Mr. Kennedy appears to be seated in a kitchen as he casually tells the actress Roseanne Barr about the ordeal. He says that he was driving through the Hudson Valley when he saw a woman in a van hit and kill a young bear. 

“I pulled over and I picked up the bear and put him in the back of my van because I was going to skin the bear,” he says. “It was very good condition and I was going to put the meat in my refrigerator.” 

Mr. Kennedy then details how he had to attend a dinner at Peter Luger Steak House in New York City and then head to the airport, which meant he had to get rid of the bear. He decided to leave the bear in Central Park with an old bicycle to make it look like it had been hit by the bike. 

Mr. Kennedy says that he was worried when officials investigated the crime scene, “because my prints were all over that bike.” 

Ms. Barr listens closely to the story, laughing and looking shocked. Mr. Kennedy tells her that fact checkers from The New Yorker asked him about the story: “It’s going to be a bad story.” 

What’s next for Mr. Kennedy?