Tipsheet

Did Jerry Nadler Have An Accident on Live TV?

Yeah, sorry, I have to put the daggers away for just a second. I know we’re in the final stages of a presidential election. I know we have a SCOTUS fight ahead of us. But we have to settle this right now. Did Rep. Jerry Nadler (D-NY) poop his pants? Seriously, have you seen the clip? The man looks like he straight-up ‘sharted’ and tried to get away as quickly as possible without evidence of his accident spilling into the public view. 

I’m not kidding. I mean, look at the footage. It sure looks like something bad happened and he tried to scurry off as quickly as possible. There’s no way no one noticed obviously. First, he’s right there next to Nancy Pelosi. Second, he’s a top Democrat, chair of the House Judiciary Committee. And third, he’s front and center at the speaker's presser. That shuffle is not going to fool anyone. There’s no covert slide away from the Speaker of the House in any situation. Also, we all know that’s not how you walk, sir. 

Look, I know it’s Thursday morning. You probably didn’t expect this during your morning cup of coffee, but I think there’s a 73 percent probability that Nadler a) had an accident on live TV, and b) tossed those pants into the furnace. We have a new ‘poopgate.’ Is this worth a special counsel? Well, given how absurd the Trump-Russia collusion myth was—maybe. Look, crazy things happen when people have to go. In Oklahoma, a woman actually led police on a high-speed chase because she had to take the Browns to the Super Bowl.

It’s a nice little break from the endless stream of stories that have made 2020 nightmarishly entertaining.