No wonder the ratings for the Winter Olympics are so much better than they were four years ago.
Four years ago, the Winter Olympics were held in China. The Beijing Games were designed to showcase the glory of the communist state. Athletes were under constant surveillance and warned to keep their yaps shut.
This year, in democratic Italy, the Milano Cortina 2026 Games are buzzing with open expression: entitled American athletes insisting they only partially represent their country, a Ukrainian racer honoring war dead and local Italian protesters protesting all kinds of things.
Unlike Beijing, these Games are a vivid reflection of everything in the human heart — good, bad and everything in between.
Take Eileen Gu, the American-born freestyle skier who chose to compete for China, her mother’s native country, rather than the U.S.
When asked about the many atrocities her communist benefactor continues committing, she goes full Sergeant Schultz: “I know nothing!”
All you really need to know is that she’s being paid millions more by Chinese interests than she’d ever receive as a U.S. athlete. If she were taller, her cash-grabbing opportunism might land her a spot in the NBA.
That brings us to curling, a never-ending source of entertaining scandal.
This year, the Swedish team is accusing the Canadian team of double-touching the rock with their fingers after the shove.
If anything is more entertaining than an accused Canadian rock tosser dropping the F-bomb — eh? — I’m not sure what it is.
Speaking of scandal, some are alleging that French judges rigged the scoring in Olympic ice dancing to hand the gold to the home team — and drop the Americans to a silver.
Who do they think they are, NFL referees?
Such accusations would never happen at the Beijing Games. Any hint of cheating would reflect poorly on the state — resulting in certain French judges getting quietly disappeared.
That brings us to groin-gate — the ski jumping scandal in which male competitors allegedly tried manipulating aerodynamic drag by injecting hyaluronic acid into their nether regions to enlarge their crotch measurements.
The International Ski and Snowboard Federation mostly dismissed it, but such comedy gold never would have seen the light of day in China.
Embarrassed party elders would have shipped the perpetrators off to “don’t jab your junk” re-education camps faster than you could say, “Dude, you just tanked your social credit score.”
In any event, it’s no wonder the Winter Games ratings are nearly double what they were four years ago.
It’s all thanks to Italy’s democratic freedoms.
Freedom opens the floodgates of everything that is bad in the human heart — greed, vanity and dishonesty — but it also opens up everything that is good, such as sportsmanship, sacrifice and selflessness.
The Chinese fail to understand that you can't restrict what is perceived to be bad without also restricting what is good.
Freedom unleashes the best of the human heart — as well as painful honesty.
Take bronze-winning Norwegian biathlete Sturla Holm Lægreid. In a post-race interview, he confessed that he cheated on his girlfriend.
Hey, Sturla, I applaud the honesty — but bro, TMI. Maybe if you’d won a gold, you could bare your soul to the world. But third place?
Buddy, all third place gets you is a greater likelihood that your girlfriend is going to cheat on you.
Find Tom Purcell’s syndicated column, humor books and videos of his dog, Thurber, at TomPurcell.com. Email him at tom@tompurcell.com.