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Worldwide Chaos Courtesy President Crusty

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In 2014, Robert Gates, who is not a conservative by any means, famously hailed our senile president as having been wrong on every single foreign policy question over the last 40 years. Well, the desiccated, corrupt old pervert is about to extend his losing streak to 50 years. Our problem is that instead of being a laughed-at Senate loudmouth or a feckless veep, this mutant is now allegedly our president. The only thing he’s worse at than foreign policy is being a dad. Sadly, it’s cringey shower time for America.

You can complain about a few things during the Trump administration, but not the most successful foreign policy since Reagan. What he did was amazing – the Abraham Accords, the movement of our embassy to Jerusalem, the ending of climate hoax nonsense, and the Iran deal were just the start. He also annihilated ISIS, capped Soleimani, got the deadbeats of NATO to pay up and solved the Kosovo situation. And what did not happen under Trump was equally important. China did not screw around. Russia did not invade anything. The North Koreans chilled. Oh, but he had some mean tweets so none of that matters.

Let’s look at today. Pretty different.

How about Ukraine? What’s the plan, guys? I like the Ukrainians – I trained them years ago – but that doesn’t mean we can keep going on like this. A hundred billion bucks to secure its border but not ours? How does that work? And the NATO freeloaders are all happy to let us do the heavy lifting since Biden’s brain trust cannot ever kiss enough Eurotush. So, now we are on the hook for the butcher bill of an endless bloodbath. I keep hearing about how we are depleting the Russians but guess what the Russians just opened? A brand new, modern tank factory. There’s this thing called history and I suggest they check it out. The Russians have a significant chance of ending up rebuilding their crappy, obsolete military into an experienced, modern one and launching a devastating offensive against Ukraine. And what will Ukraine fight it off with? Its military is now largely middle-aged men because the young ones are either lying dead or partying outside the country. Great work.

Hamas got uppity, meaning Iran got uppity, and it is getting more uppity. Does anyone think the semihumans of Hamas would have tried their murder spree with Trump in office? Biden initially got it right – for the benefit of much of the Democrat Party, trying to kill all the Jews in Israel is bad – but pretty soon he descended in ceasefire mode. Of course, the word “ceasefire” is simply code for “Let Hamas live to go on another murder spree, hopefully after we leave office.” Maybe giving Iran billions of dollars for hostages – instead of telling them you have 24 hours to pony up our people or your entire navy is going to be converted to involuntary submarines – was a bad idea. Biden seems to think that if sucking up to the mullahs doesn’t work, the answer is harder sucking. Iranian proxies in Iraq and Syria are hitting US installations with missiles and except for the occasional kabuki airstrike, we do nothing.

And thanks to the Mullah-tugging we now have a return to piracy. Freedom of the seas used to be a thing, but no more. The Iranian minion Houthis, whatever the hell they are, are using Yemen as a base to go grab ships passing through the Red Sea. Biden’s Navy uses a zillion dollar missile every few days to knock down a $20 drone, but he won’t hit these freaks back. Now, dumb people ask why we have ships in the Red Sea. Well, because, dummies, that’s where the Suez Canal is. And it’s kind of important.

Oh, speaking of canals, the Panama Canal that Democrat Jimmy Carter gave away decades ago is now working at half-capacity. And the Chinese have their mitts on it. Speaking of Latin America, Venezuela is about to invade and take over half of Guyana. Of course, thanks to the open border, Venezuela is already in the process of invading America. Where’s Biden? Slurping gruel and staring at his stories on the tee-vee.

In the Pacific, China has decided it owns a bunch of Philippine islands and is tussling with the Philippine Navy. It already insists it owns Taiwan. What are the chances that if it looks like Crusty will lose in November that the PRC just takes it? What will Biden do then? Send a strongly-worded diplomatic cable? And North Korea's Kim Jong Un is acting up again. You remember him from before Trump was president, which was the last time he caused serious trouble?

Yeah, Biden’s streak is unbroken. He’s failed so extensively that he’s Jimmy Carter with kid sniffing habit. His track record of consistency promises even worse to come in 2024. This guy is not going to see the light. He can barely see Air Force One’s stairs. He and that coterie of commie idiots he calls an administration are going to not double-down but triple-down on failure. They think America is the cause of the world’s problems, and the disaster unfolding around the world that threatens to turn us into a second tier regional player is not a bug to them. It is a feature. After all, it is hard to imagine that this kind of comprehensive foreign policy failure could be anything but intentional. But then, considering how transcendently stupid Biden was even before he slipped into dementia, maybe that does not give him enough credit.

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