Hi, everybody! Welcome to this week's "Stream of Kurtiousness" for the week of whatever week this is! I don't know. What do I look like, your calendar? Anyway, I do count the years. Maybe I don't know what day it is, but I know it's 38 years since I graduated from high school right about now. And you're going, "Kurt, you look young. You look healthy. You look virile and potent." True! All true!
But it was 38 years ago. And why was I thinking of that? Because I don't think of being in high school much, except every once in a while on Facebook, you see somebody you went to high school with, and you go, "Damn, he's old!" Literally, the only people who don't look super crusty who graduated with me in high school in 1983 (which was incidentally the high school about a half a mile from where Greg Gutfeld went, he went to the local private high school in San Mateo, California, I went to a public one), the only people who don't look old are, like I said, me, and the people who sell real estate, which you would expect. Why am I talking about high school?
Warning: Contains Strong Explicit Language
Because Twitter has informed me of the most important thing going on in the world, it's not a new Israeli government that's putting Benjamin Netanyahu out of power for the first time in 12 years. It's not Joe Biden destroying our country through incompetence and embracing Marxist insanity. No, it's some teenage valedictorian in, I don't know, bum**** Egypt decided to rip up her valedictorian speech that had been approved and talk about how she's really upset because, in Texas, they're limiting her ability to get an abortion. So, I guess she's in Texas.
What the hell? Now look, I like free speech. And I believe that you have a right to speak freely and make a complete idiot of yourself, which this girl did. I find it really stupid and annoying and rude. A bunch of people are there to watch their kids walk across the stage, not like high school's a great achievement because if you have a pulse, you can pass public high school these days. High School should be a place where if you come out, you are ready to be a citizen, and today, thanks to unionized public school teachers, you come out of high school, and you're ready to wear a diaper.
Anyway, she decided she would inflict upon them the full benefit of her less than two decades of life experience, which I'm sure everyone is super grateful for because we want to see some studious girl explain how the most important thing in her life is the hypothetical right to kill her baby someday, which I find that a little bizarre and annoying and stupid and rude. But she's a hero, according to Twitter, which isn't surprising because Twitter is a morally bankrupt institution run by teen leftists for the benefit of other teen leftists. It's their world, and we just kind of live in it in a social media, virtual sense.
Why does this matter? They want to make her into a hero, okay. Um, yay? But the thing that gets me is, how do you be a hero if you're not taking any risk? Do they think the cops are going to show and get her and gag her because she's telling these "forbidden truths"? Is Ron DeSantis and Greg Abbott going to send their secret policemen to go shut her up because she's "blowing peoples' minds" with her "openness" to killing babies?
That's one of the things that distinguishes liberalism right now. It's the lack of risk. There's nothing at risk.
It's like the whole Covid thing. People treat Covid like it's freaking "Dawn of the Dead." It's not. Instead, it's "Midday of the Mediocre," alright? It is a big nothing. It's a cold. Look, 99.5710 whatever percent (hey, I'm not a freaking mathematician), are going to survive it. Yes, I know people died from it. Yes, I know it can hurt you. Yes, I know you don't want it. I had it; I didn't want it. I'd prefer not to have it. But the simple fact is it was not my Woodstock. This was not the biggest event of my life. But for a lot of people, it is. This is their excitement; this is their risk, this is when they storm the beaches of Normandy, and they're going to remember this forever. Them and their stupid face masks.
It's a big deal for them. But it's not really that risky. Fighting global warming – you're not taking a risk, except that you're going to break your hand being high-fived by other leftists. "Ooo, I'm fighting systemic racism!" Aren't you brave! You're practically taking on Bull Connor's police dogs.
You hacks. At $20,000 a pop, lecturing to woke corporations, yeah, that's a "sacrifice."
It's all bull****. It's all a lie. It's all a scam.
This girl isn't brave. She's rude. And worse than being rude, because I don't mind rude, I mind boring. She's boring. Her views are basic and poorly thought through and morally bankrupt. In fact, she's a moral illiterate, and the fact that she's being made into some kind of heroine, and I hope I'm not misgendering her, but I probably am, I don't know her pronouns, and I don't care, the fact that she's being made a heroine just shows how little courage it takes to be a liberal in American right now.
You know what takes courage? Being a conservative, standing up for what's right, standing up for faith, family, and the flag. Now, if you got up as a valedictorian, and looked out at your classmates and said, "Thank you, God, that I'm in the United States of America, the greatest country on the face of the earth," can you imagine the collective panty-wetting that would go in Silicon Valley at the offices of Twittergram, Facespace, whatever? They'd be freaking out, and you know that wouldn't be trending.
This is the "Stream of Kurtiousness." I'll talk to you next week.