OPINION

De Pasquale’s Dozen with Author Michael Malice

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

One of the things I liked most about Red Eye on Fox News was that it was a platform for the eccentric guests who didn’t necessarily fit in on other political or entertainment shows. Red Eye is where I first saw author Michael Malice. His humor has been described as “cruel” (by Kurt Schlichter, no less!), but he’s so affable and well-dressed that it’s easy to overlook.

In recent months Malice’s appeal has gone mainstream thanks to his book, Dear Reader: The Unauthorized Autobiography of Kim Jong Il. It quickly became a bestseller in the Asian History, Korean History, and Heads of State categories on Amazon. He’s appeared on numerous programs including the popular Joe Rogan Experience podcast, The Fox News Specialists, Kennedy, among many others. In addition to appearing as a guest, he’s also guest-hosted The Gavin McInnes Show on Compound Media and Red Eye. Recently, he got his on show, “Your Welcome” with Michael Malice on Compound Media. (He’s even trolling in the name of his show!)

To really understand Malice, track down a copy of Ego and Hubris: The Michael Malice Story, a graphic novel by Harvey Pekar. It’s a rare find now and all on Amazon and eBay are over $100. If it’s not in your summer reading budget, this Dozen interview is a good “CliffsNotes” version.

The De Pasquale's Dozen asks political figures, free market-minded writers and entertainers to take a break from politics and talk about their pop culture obsessions.

1. What's your favorite movie line and to whom you'd like to say it?

“Times are hard for dreamers,” from Amelie.

I guess I'd say it to anyone young and starry-eyed who keep getting told their aspirations are a waste of time. They aren't. It's those who say that who are a waste of time.

2. Tell me about your worst teacher and how he or she influenced your life.

In second grade, whoever read the most books won some prize. Since it was about quantity, and since I'm Russian, I gamed the system and read kindergarten-level books to get the number up as high as possible. I was talking about Mr. Clever and how he lives in Cleverland, and the teacher told me it's pronounced "Cleveland." When I said there was an R she told me it was silent. To this day I don't understand how this happened and frankly if anyone told me I would think they're making it up. That taught me that the person at the front of the room is often a fraud, and usually a complete fraud.

3. If you could be paid to do anything besides your current job, what would it be?

Zookeeper or aquarist. I've been obsessed with animals since I was a kid.

4. What canceled show would you put back on the air?

Besides Gossip Girl, and Twin Peaks being back, I think I'd have to say Parker Lewis Can't Lose. The mix of whimsy and cartoon logic was something that I was very taken with when I was younger.

5. What's your current “guilty pleasure” television show?

Probably Riverdale and Gotham. Riverdale because it's a mix of Twin Peaks and my all-time favorite guilty pleasure show, Gossip Girl. Chuck Bass is my style icon.

6. What’s the best present you ever received as a child?

I was obsessed with Legend of Zelda, and Zelda II kept getting delayed for months at a time. One day my dad went with me to a computer store on Kings Highway in Brooklyn and they had it. It was grey market, imported from Canada. I think it was $70-$100, something crazy. He got it for me. Zelda I was better, btw.

7. What’s the best present you ever gave?

I had a girlfriend who had spent all her Christmas money one year on presents for other people. There was a bag she had her eye on that she wanted to buy when she saved up enough money but it completely sold out. I thought this was a cosmic injustice that needed to be rectified. I spent months scouring eBay for it but I finally found it for her.

8. What advice do you remember your mother or father giving you?

As a Russian, my dad had some choice words to say about the police. I didn't even consider them particularly controversial until I was doing a BBC interview years ago and the host audibly gasped and lost it.

9. If you hosted a late night show, who would be your guests and band?

BAND: The Go-Go's

GUESTS: heretics of all stripes are welcome. That's kind of the mix I have so far on my "YOUR WELCOME" show. Although I think most late night shows have their guests provided to them by corporate entertainment.

10. What books are on your summer reading list?

The new Dick Tracy collected edition comes out soon. Also Burnham's "The Managerial Revolution" from 1943. I'm not that much of a reader nowadays since so much stuff out there is terrible and I can't turn off the editor part of my brain that easily.

11. What would you like tomorrow's headline to say?

NORTH KOREA LIBERATED

12. Tell me about the moment you decided to enter the political arena.

I don't know that I'm in the political arena per se. I guess that's just wishful thinking on my part since I am against politics on principle. I suppose the real start was when I launched my Kickstarter for Dear Reader. That was me trying to move the needle in my small way politically.