This league is elite at self-sabotage. It’s as if they believe doubling down on their stupidity will earn them bonus points. No, it only further isolates them and could lead the NBA to pull the plug on this venture altogether. Okay, the latter likely won’t happen, but people come to watch basketball for the talent and the sport, not the social justice nonsense. It’s not meant to be used as a vehicle for perpetual protest, like not being present for the national anthem or being the last dying vestige where people think biological males should compete in women’s sports. The league’s meeting about that, which led to nothing, further exposed this operation as a clown show: you had a meeting to discuss what the “W” in WNBA stands for, and failed. 

Now, the Toronto Tempo, a new team launched this year, unveiled their new mascots. And yes, they had to go there, too — the pronoun game was played on this one with “Dez” and “Dot”:

Dez (she/they) is a Borealis Blue Snapping Turtle from Muskoka, Ontario. Their name is inspired by decibel, a nod to their love of music and role as the more measured half of the duo. Dez is calm, clever and always thinking a few steps ahead.

A Taurus who spins the 1s and 2s in their spare time, Dez’s secret talent is snapping – they also have a particular fondness for soft shell tacos.

Dot (she/her) is an Arctic Hare named for Toronto’s longtime nickname, T-Dot. Originally from the Arctic Circle, she brings seemingly endless energy, acrobatics and enthusiasm to everything she does – making her the undisputed hype woman of the pair.

A Gemini whose hobbies can best be described as “hops and hype,” Dot loves cotton candy, Drive to Survive, and any opportunity to get the crowd on its feet.

Their story began much farther apart.

Dot grew up chasing the northern lights across the Arctic, flipping and leaping beneath the aurora. Farther south, Dez could be found moving at her own steady rhythm through the lakes of Muskoka.

When the northern lights stretched south one winter, Dot followed them to Ontario, where she met Dez. The two quickly discovered a shared love of rhythm – even if they approached it very differently. Dez brought patience and timing; Dot brought speed and fearless energy.

Eventually, the pulse of Toronto drew them both to the city.

It’s a mascot, you muppets.

Dear Lord, if you all would just stop being stupid for two seconds, this could’ve been a record year for the league. Instead, we have a commissioner who’s lost control and is damn-near worthless, Caitlin Clark, the face of the league, getting curb-stomped every game, Sophie Cunningham being attacked for supporting girls’ sports, and people wondering why the sex toys are being thrown on the courts again. You ladies are not serious right now.