RNC Has Fun With 'Leaked' Hillary DNC Speech

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Posted: May 17, 2018 8:30 PM
RNC Has Fun With 'Leaked' Hillary DNC Speech

The Republican National Committee is having some fun about Hillary Clinton’s planned address at a Democratic National Committee fundraiser Thursday night. The RNC said it was able to obtain ‘leaked’ excerpts from her address from the Democrats’ Women’s Leadership Forum. The price tag for the speech is $1 million. That’s on top of the near $2 million the DNC has forked over for access to her 2016 data and email lists. And the committee is cash strapped, holding millions of dollars in debt.

Now, Republicans had fun with this, along with hitting at other potential 2020 contenders’ hypocrisy and shortfalls. Like Sens. Kamala Harris(D-CA) and Cory Booker’s (D-NJ) corporate ties, Sen. Liz Warren’s (D-MA) shoddy roots in Native American heritage, and Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand’s 180-degree turn on issues like gun rights and immigration once she became a U.S. Senator; she was a more centrist to right-leaning congresswoman from upstate New York. She more or less said she was more conservative as a congresswoman when she represented a district chock full of country bumpkins. Words that I’m sure will be net positives. It’s a weak field, mostly concentrated in California or the liberal northeast, with candidates with regional appeal. They can try to break those molds, but make no mistake there’s a lot of unflattering material on them, and even left-wingers don’t like some of the choices for 2020, specifically Harris.

Here’s the leaked transcript. And by leaked, I mean a total parody. Nice work, RNC:

Thank you. Thank you very much for that warm welcome.  You all did so much for me last cycle!

I am so grateful to be here tonight with my biggest client– the DNC.  

I realize money’s been a little tight around here – by the way, where’s Tom?  Everyone give a round of applause for DNC Chair Tom Perez! [clap]  

Tom, I know what it’s like to be“dead broke” and in debt, but if anyone can fix the mess with the Democratic Party, it’s a former cabinet secretary with a law degree that’s been handpicked by the establishment. [wink at Tom]

Now, I know some of you want me to give back the millions Bill and I are being paid from the DNC right now for access to my email list, but nothing warms our hearts more than opening that little $165,000 check from you all every month.  You know we lovegetting six-figure checks.

Speaking of taking money from Wall Street, I heard Kamala Harris is headliningtomorrownight’s dinner. If you thought my ties to big corporations were a problem, wait until you hear about my good friend Kamala.  Between her non-stop fundraising in the Hamptons and lavish five-star travel, I should really start charging her for stealing a page from my playbook!

And don’t even get me started on “Corporate Cory.”  Cory Booker has spent more timedoing favors for Bain Capitalthan Deval Patrick – and Devalactually works there.  

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Now, I know haven’t spent much time dwelling on the past, so I wanted to take a minute to reflect on why I think I lost…

[read “What Happened” book tour speech]

…but back to superdelegates.  I know there’s a lot of chatter among a certain socialist-leaning crowd about Democrats possibly getting rid of them.  But I say double them.  Yes, double them.  Triple them even!  

With all due respect, why do these self-avowed socialist types get a vote anyway?  I mean, they’re not even Democrats.  I bet Bernie didn’t even vote for me.

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For the record, since a lot of you have been asking, I do stand by what I said about all of those“backwards” Americans when I was in Mumbai.  Speaking of Indians, is Elizabeth Warren heretonight?  I know, I know, different continents.

I’d be remiss not to mention my dear friend Kirsten Gillibrand.  We have so much in common: Our conservative roots…senators from New York…we’ve both soured on Bill a bit….

No prisoners were taken.