New Tone: Conservatives Deserve a Punch in the Nose

Posted: Sep 26, 2011 12:22 PM

Jimmy Zuma lives in Washington D.C. He writes the online opinion journal Smart v. Stupid, contributes to Technorati and has a "new tone" article in the Tucson Sentinel today about why lefties should consider punching a conservative in the face.

I’ve been thinking about a lot lately—Is it time to start punching conservatives in the nose?

One of this reasons according to Zuma? Because punching someone in the face isn't "violent."

It’s not violence, although you can be sure that the bloody-nose guy will whine that it is. Cutting, shooting, breaking, burning and rape are violence. A good, old-fashioned punch in the nose is not. The act is dramatic, however, the lasting physical harm is mostly nonexistent.

So apparently breaking someones face isn't violent? Let's move on.

In his piece, Zuma gives seven reasons why lefties should consider "belting these big mouths." Here are the six others:

Every right-winger believes in it. Of course, he mostly believes in it when he’s carping about liberals, but hey, that’s beside the point. For him, it’s just the start. "All that kid needs is a good spanking," he rants. We should throw away the key for criminals," he opines. He cheers when the subject of capital punishment is discussed. He yells “Let him die,” if some poor cancer slob was too dumb to buy health insurance.

A punch in the nose is a great wake-up call. First comes shock. Then he’ll grab the throbbing protrusion and—invariably—pinch it together while saying “You hit me!” in a high-pitched, nasally voice. Yes, a thump on the tip carries a ton of Shock and Awe™. The person can’t believe you did it and can’t believe you’re standing there smiling at them. Later he figures out that the punch was related to his big mouth. And therein lies the lesson.

As a bad thing, getting socked is highly overrated. Like giving a speech in your underpants, most people are much more afraid of getting punched than it deserves. In reality, it ain’t that big a deal. Either way you’ll have a great story. “I punched an asshole and he beat me up” will still earn respect from your buddies.

But there is a low chance that you’ll actually be hit back. These blowhard righties are paper tigers who are ruled by fear. They’re afraid of everything unfamiliar or unexpected. That’s why they can’t tolerate change or choice. And trust me, nothing is more unexpected than a rap on the snout.

Incivility desperately needs a price tag. Peaceful nonviolence is great for the organized protest of a totalitarian master, but really lousy for one-to-one situations. When you greet incivility with tolerance, you simply encourage it. If you truly believe in peace, cooperation and a civilized society, you have to be willing to be the instrument of its defense. Well, your schnoz-hammer does anyway.  

Is there ever a time to punch someone in the face? Debatable, however, the Left's hypocrisy on the new civility tone is laughable. Imagine if a conservative wrote the same thing about leftists as Zuma has written about conservatives? In fact, remember when conservatives were blamed for the Tucson massacre? When conservatives were held responsible for Jared Loughner's actions despite Loughner having zero links to conservatism at all and despite Loughner being deemed unfit to stand trial because of a mental illness?

An Open Letter to Sergey Brin
Dennis Prager

FLASHBACK, President Obama January 13, 2011:

At a time when our discourse has become so sharply polarized - at a time when we are far too eager to lay the blame for all that ails the world at the feet of those who think differently than we do - it's important for us to pause for a moment and make sure that we are talking with each other in a way that heals, not a way that wounds.

I believe we can be better.

But I will agree with Zuma on one point he makes:

The entire fabric of our society would be improved if loudmouth right-wingers didn’t know who among us might offer them a knock in the nostrils.

I assume Zuma would apply this same thought process to the idea of concealed carry, the idea that society improves when people aren't sure whether or not someone is packing a gun for self defense purposes, but, this may be too much logic to ask for.