"Cal Thomas for President" actually has a nice (let freedom) ring to it.
And you've got to hand it to Cal: He sticks to conservative principles, says what's on his mind, and has a heck of a lot of fun while doing it.
Consider, for instance, the recent campaign "speech" Thomas gave on Fox News Channel's "After Hours with Cal Thomas." In his typical Cal-esque style of combining wit and wisdom with just a touch of wacky, he delivered the campaign "promises" many of us long to hear:
"My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for yourselves. You think you're entitled to something? You're entitled to freedom and opportunity. The rest is up to you.
"Don't come crying to me if you're not motivated enough, or won't make the necessary sacrifices and investment to be successful and engage in risky personal behavior. That's your problem, not the government's.
"We should make it as easy as possible for you to succeed. In addition to freedom and opportunity, you should be allowed to keep most of the money you make and determine how you want to save or spend it. You should be telling government how much of your money you intend government to have. Government should not be telling you how much of your money it will allow you to keep.
"Health care? Take care of yourself. Exercise. Eat right. Don't smoke. Look both ways before crossing the street. The truly poor we can help, but there should be less incentive for being poor and getting a government check than there is in becoming wealthy and earning your own check.
"All this bunk about helping 'working people.' Your grandparents looked after themselves and each other. Day care meant your mother was there when you arrived home from school. Stop divorcing. Stay married. Work it out. Don't abuse drugs and alcohol. Practice recreational basketball, not recreational sex. Obey the law.
"Don't watch garbage TV and garbage movies. Read to your kids. Talk to your spouse. Live within your means. Plan for your own future so others won't be burdened taking care of you. Get a life!"
The speech may have been a spoof, but it contained more truth than any campaign jargon I've heard in years. More of these creative Cal commentaries (wish I could say, "creative candidate Cal commentaries) can be found in the Foxnews.com archives.
By the way, if you've never seen his Saturday night show on the Fox News Channel (airs at 11:00 p.m. EST) you really owe it to yourself to tune in. Cal covers topics every week that others are either too timid or too dull to touch. Take, for instance, his feature on the equally bold and brilliant Dr. Laura Schlessinger about her book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." (By the way, you can get a personally autographed copy only on WorldNetDaily.com
Cal was brave enough to allow Dr. Laura to remind women of the decidedly politically incorrect truth that selfless wives who unconditionally and sacrificially care for and love their husbands will also be the world's happiest wives. Thomas (and WND's Joseph Farah, who has also bravely promoted Dr. Laura's great book) is man enough take on the feminist movement and mantra whenever needed ? which, by the way, is quite often.
It's no wonder that Cal is the most widely published op-ed writer in the world with some 540 newspapers and several online sites, including Townhall.com, carrying his weekly writing wonders. Cal's also got quite a radio following with his commentaries running on some 300 stations nationwide including the influential CBS affiliate, WTOP in Washington, D.C.
Best-selling author. Talented television host. Conquering conservative commentator. Principled political pundit. Macho man. What else could you want in a president?
Alas, I'm afraid we'll never see Cal as a candidate. Why? Because he can't be bought, sold or bartered.
For 30 years, Cal Thomas has used the media to espouse truth, and in so doing, has become the nation's conservative conscience. He continues to eloquently and powerfully sound the clarion call for Americans to abandon our habits of self-indulgence and government dependence and, instead, to embrace the Divinely inspired vision for our country that was provided to our Founding Fathers.
Cal reminds us of basic truths and principles of living that have stood the test of time ? principles like virtue, commitment, hard work, liberty, unconditional love, accountability and faith in God. His commentaries urge all of us to be true to these timeless values in our own lives, and to demand that our elected officials do the same. And thank the Lord, Cal's presence is seemingly everywhere.
Cal Thomas is right ? and right where he needs to be.