Hitchens? No Way

Posted: Jun 08, 2007 12:00 AM
Hitchens? No Way

Isn’t it odd how there is a vicious, slimy pundit who has managed to figure out a way to sell a lot of books by somehow becoming endearing or interesting to other pundits of opposite ideologies?

Christopher Hitchens is the poster boy for horrific behavior earning a seat at many tables. This creep makes Michael Moore look like a dignified elder statesman, and yet there seems to be no shortage of conservative radio and TV hosts who enjoy giving him a platform to spew his foul venom in the direction of any God-fearing, Bible-believing individual in his way.

I see that Hitchen’s new book, a hateful attack on God, religion and any of us dopes who are believers, now sits perched atop the esteemed New York Times bestseller list.

What a nasty indictment of the culture and character of the United States in 2007.

The producer of my radio show is practically frantic in his attempts to get me to interview Hitchens. “This guy is a great interviewee”, he keeps saying. “Look at all the other shows that have him on”, he pleads. “C’mon, it’ll be great radio.”

Great radio? Perhaps. I guess that if I were to have him on my radio show (and believe me, he’d appear – this snake oil salesman would attend the opening of an envelope) and ask him why he doesn’t seem to have a single DNA strand of decency, he’d babble on about religious frauds and how God doesn’t exist and how stupid the vast majority of Americans are to believe in Him.

If that would make for great radio, I’ll have to pass.

Since I have become accustomed to turning the channel when I see or hear him or skipping past any of his articles or just attempting to avoid this reptile in general, I’m not as familiar with his most recent works as much as his “fans” must be.

But there are only three things that tell me everything I need to know about Christopher Hitchens: 1) after Mother Teresa died, he called her a “fanatic” and a “fraud”; after Rev. Jerry Falwell died, he crowed about people “finding his carcass” on the floor of his office and proudly complained that it’s a shame that there’s no Hell for that “ugly toad” to go to; and he has now produced a book called, “God is not Great, How Religion Poisons Everything.”

Real sweet guy, eh?

Listen, not everyone appreciates the work that Mother Teresa or Jerry Falwell did during their time here on Earth, although it seems particularly evil to attack a woman who did saintly work. You don’t have to agree with anything that Rev. Falwell said or did.

But when this British pseudo-intellectual inflicts pain upon the grieving families and followers of religious icons with his rage-filled personal attacks, he shows the world what it means to be a human being without a soul.

No, I won’t be interviewing Christopher Hitchens on my radio show. And for the life of me, I can’t understand why anyone in their right mind would want to. Maybe it’s because of his support of the War on Terror and people are a bit confused about where this lunatic is coming from. But heck, even a stopped clock gets it right twice a day.

I’d like to believe that no one listening to my show would be inclined to buy his awful book, but if my refusing to promote him keeps him from selling one additional book and padding his already well-lined pockets, that’s a good thing.

I will never forget the smirk I saw on his face when he said that it was too bad that Rev. Jerry Falwell, who did more good for America in one day than Hitchens could do in two lifetimes, wouldn’t be going to Hell since it didn’t exist.

If I manage to be around when Christopher Hitchens dies, I would never dream of saying any of the vile things about him that he has managed to say about others. Nobody with a shred of humanity would.

But I’ll admit to having some degree of satisfaction over the knowledge that when it comes to that place called Hell that he claims doesn’t exist, he’s going to have an eternity to become quite familiar with it.

Do you suppose Satan will put Christopher Hitchens on Hell’s bestseller list when he welcomes him?