My Favorite Political Quotes

Posted: Jun 29, 2007 12:00 AM
My Favorite Political Quotes

The other day someone wrote to ask whether I’ve ever considered writing a column including my favorite political quotes. I responded by saying, “Let me get a six pack and think about it. I’ll write back later.” After sitting out on the porch drinking Sierra Nevada Summer-Fest and watching the bugs hit my bug zapper, I compiled today’s list.

Some of these quotes are already known to the general public. Others came from personal encounters I’ve had with politicians and other public figures – all having no idea they were being digitally recorded. I do hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed my six pack of Sierra Nevada. And I hope you remember them when you cast your vote in 2008.

25. Mike, could you pass the George Dickel? It's unseasonably cold out here tonight." Al Gore, Jr. over drinks at Dr. Adams’ house some time in May of 2006.

24. "Faggot!" Ann Coulter shortly after Dr. Adams refused to come up to her hotel room for drinks after her speech at CPAC.

23. "Get your hand off Chelsea's (backside)! She's my daughter, you pervert!" Hillary R. Clinton during an interview with Dr. Adams at a restaurant in Washington, D.C.

22. “Take a little more off the top. I don’t want to look like those stinking homeless people on Franklin Street.” John Edwards speaking off the record with his hair stylist in Chapel Hill, N.C.

21. “The charges that I am anti-Semitic are simply erroneous, felonious, and unceremonious. In fact, when I need a doctor, I always look for one with a Jewish name.” Jesse Jackson in an exclusive interview with

20. "What? My guns have killed fewer people than Teddy Kennedy’s car. Leave my guns alone and go after that drunken socialist’s diver’s license. And pass the George Dickel, Al.” Mike S. Adams.

19. "What? Gun makers are responsible for making America violent? I suppose spoon makers are responsible for making Natalie Maines fat.” Mike S. Adams.

18. "I said, get your hand off Chelsea's (backside)! She's your daughter, Bill! You pervert!" Hillary R. Clinton.

17. "Faggot!" John Edwards after Dr. Adams complimented him on his $400 haircut.

16. "Mike Adams' assertion that I grabbed Chelsea's (backside) is both false and defamatory. I think we can all agree that Chelsea is not nearly as hot as Ms. Lewinski. The charges simply lack any indicia of credibility. I demand an apology. And I also demand a cigar." Bill Clinton.

15. "I regret to say that my hand did, in fact, have an improper relationship with Chelsea Clinton. The incident represents a profound lapse of judgment for which my hand takes sole responsibility." Bill Clinton.

14. "Some people say I hate homosexuals. That simply isn't true. I have a real affinity for certain lesbians. I saw Wild Things six or seven times in the movie theater. I even own the DVD." Mike S. Adams during an interview with Rosie O’Donnell.

13. "I invented internet porn." Al Gore, Jr.

12. "I was born a poor black child." Al Gore, Jr. campaigning in a black church in Memphis, TN in October of 2000.

11. "Dr. Adams, could you tell Ann Coulter to stop writing columns about my husband. It’s hurting his reputation. Soon, he’ll have to lower his $50,000 speaking fee. The speeches to the poverty groups are our primary source of income. Thank you.” Elizabeth Edwards.

10. "Senator Joe Biden is pretty clean and articulate for a white guy." Senator Barack Obama.

9. "Gosh, idiot." Napoleon Dynamite in response to Joe Biden’s remarks about Barack Obama.

8. "There are three things I fear in this world: Osama, Obama, and your mama.” Mike S. Adams in an interview with Chelsea Clinton.

7. "Hell no, I’m not calling Ann Coulter. You do it for me, Elizabeth. I’ve got a hair appointment. Just tell the skinny slut to stop hurling epithets.” John Edwards to Elizabeth Edwards.

6. "Nigga’, please" Michael Richards to Jesse Jackson after Jackson asked him for a $1,000,000 contribution to the Rainbow PUSH coalition.

5. "Mike Adams, you are simply the sexiest man alive. You have my vote in 2008." Jessica Alba.

4. "I have never had sex with that woman, Hillary Clinton." Bill Clinton.

3. “I said those things about gay rights and abortion on opposite day. I cannot BELIEVE you don’t have opposite day in North Carolina!” Mitt Romney during an interview with Dr. Adams in Wilmington, N.C.

2. "Mike S. Adams possesses the most brilliant political mind of our time." Mike S. Adams.

1. "I supported the War in Iraq before I opposed the War in Iraq before I supported the War in Iraq before I opposed the War in Iraq before I supported the War in Iraq before ... Bill! Get your hand off that waitress' (backside)!" Hillary R. Clinton.