Why I don’t take feminists seriously, Part VI

Posted: Feb 07, 2006 12:05 AM

I’ve really gotten myself into trouble with some feminists at Grinnell College. In Part IV of this series, I listed “feminist-sponsored masturbation workshops on college campuses” as one of the reasons I cannot take feminists seriously. I then stated that no explanation was necessary to indicate why such workshops make feminists look silly.

But, after reading my column, several Grinnell feminists are demanding an explanation. Of course, I’m happy to oblige. In fact, the explanation leads directly to my next point about feminists.

20. It doesn’t take much intellectual firepower to become a feminist scholar.

I once told a feminist that the term “feminist scholar” was an oxymoron. She asked me what I meant by oxymoron. I should just rest my case but the masturbation workshop controversy really takes things to a different level. I’ll try to spell it out for the Grinnell feminists with one succinct paragraph:

If you need to hold a workshop to learn how to masturbate, you aren’t terribly bright. Remember, you’re trying to make the case that a woman can do anything as well as a man. That’s the main thesis of feminism. Yet, somehow, men are fully capable of masturbating without taking a seminar. For men, it’s a natural talent. For campus feminists, it’s another excuse to seek funding from the university administration. It’s also another sign that feminists are really uptight and angry.

21. The feminist alliance with communism.

I used to get really angry with feminists over their chic alliance with communism. After all, I’ve had relatives who risked their lives to fight in wars rolling back the forces of communism and fascism. Many of you know people who gave their very lives to defeat such forces. When you see these historically ignorant feminists embrace the very ideas that once threatened our precious freedoms, you probably get mad, too.

But, now, I kind of like the idea that these feminists are waving flags that feature a sickle and hammer. It really makes sense to me. After all, the communists killed 100,000,000 innocents in just 72 years. One-third of a century after Roe v. Wade, the feminists are on a pace to kill even more innocents. To be precise, the projected total of abortions in America by 2045 (that’s 72 years after Roe) is 102.545,450.

Maybe after they break the communist murder record feminists can come up with their own flag. Instead of a sickle and hammer it can feature a scalpel and a suction tube.

22. Feminists are literally trying to destroy the American family.

Peter Kreeft wrote a great book a few years ago called How to Win the Culture War. In the book, he argued that attacking marriage was essential for those who wished to radically transform (read: destroy) the foundations of our society. You can’t just tear down a whole society. You have to weaken individual communities. But that involves weakening families. And that, in turn, involves weakening marriages. And, for Kreeft, the best way to weaken marriages is to encourage adultery. This is easy to do when people begin to worship sex.

So when you drop your kids off at some school like Rice University for orientation there is always some feminist there to encourage them to “explore their sexual freedom” (read: have sex with anyone and everyone). And when they take Sociology 101, the feminist professor is there to tell them that marriage is a good deal for men but not for women.

The fact that the feminist sociology professor has usually been married more than once lends further validity to point #20.

23. Feminists are the biggest censors on college campuses today.

Maybe it was the time that a feminist tried to kick one of my former students out of her women’s studies class for laughing at one of her ideas. The professor didn’t even hear him. But another feminist did and reported him to the professor.

Or maybe it was the time I ridiculed a feminist Marxist’s essay on 911 and the author’s mommy spent three weeks tying to have me disciplined by the administration.

Or maybe it was the time I ridiculed a feminist for filing a false sexual harassment report. She responded by saying that the First Amendment did not allow me to make fun of her. In fact, she said that my ridicule was also sexual harassment.

Or maybe it was the time I made fun of an anti-war feminist. I said that if she would shave her armpits, people would be more likely to read her anti-war sign when she held it up. As it stood, people were just staring at her hairy armpits. I was just trying to be helpful. But, unfortunately, her feminist friend sent someone into a Board of Trustees meeting with a plea to have me disciplined for making fun of her friend’s armpits. Of course, the plea was ignored.

To tell you the truth, I don’t know when it was. But I have definitely realized that feminists are the biggest censors on my campus. And they are always driven to censor those who do not take them seriously – just to punish them for the crime of not taking them seriously.

And that is really why I wrote this series. The feminists will never have my respect as long as they continue to “demand” it. That just doesn’t work in a free America. But it might work in communist China, which is where most feminists belong.