Yesterday, Anna Potter (firstname.lastname@example.org) of Feminist Students United (FSU) sent out an email that should make us all want to sign up for the list serve (email@example.com) of this UNC-Chapel Hill student organization. The email provides an update on the Orgasm Awareness Festival that FSU is co-sponsoring later this semester.
In case you haven't heard about this exciting event, it is focused on the female orgasm and dispelling myths about masturbation, sexuality, orgasm and other important topics.
The orgasm festival is going to take place on the campus of UNC-Chapel Hill on Thursday, November 10th. There are going to be "pin the finger on the clitoris" and “locate the g-spot” games followed by contests to see how quickly and properly people of both sexes can put condoms on bananas.
There will also be a "vibrator museum" showcasing various sex toys including - but not limited to! - an antique vibrator from 1924. And there will be a vibrator raffle and lots of information on masturbation, orgasm and contraception.
Jessica Polka, an executive board member for the co-sponsor of the event, was recently quoted as saying that “We also have the goal of trying to work toward fighting the social stigma against female sexuality.” In other words, she wants college women to become whores without being ostracized.
While the UNC administration is undoubtedly thrilled that these coeds are turning out to be nymphomaniacs rather than intellectuals, not all of the blame can be placed on UNC. Indeed, FSU may have gotten the idea for their “orgasm festival” from the University of California, San Diego.
At UCSD, the Women’s Center recently sponsored “The Female Orgasm” – an event advertised as follows:
Join us to laugh and learn about the "big O," the most popular topic sex educators Marshall Miller and Dorian Solot teach about! Orgasm aficionados and beginners of all genders are welcome to learn about everything from multiple orgasms to that mysterious G-spot. Whether you want to learn how to have your first orgasm, how to have better ones, or how to help your girlfriend, Dorian and Marshall cover it all with lots of humor, plenty of honesty, and an underlying message of sexual health and women's empowerment. Are you coming?
And all of this should make Chancellor James Moeser of UNC-Chapel Hill very proud. For years, he has been jealous of the University of California system because of its reputation for academic lunacy. He wants UNC to be the most idiotic (instead of the second-most idiotic) university system in America. And now, the young feminists of FSU are helping him achieve his goals – that is, when they are not helping each other to achieve orgasm.
But a word of warning to the young feminists of FSU is in order. Their events, which are geared toward women, do nothing to include certain groups that are suffering a crisis of "gender identity." And that is potentially problematic since Chancellor Moeser is now under pressure to add “gender identity” to UNC’s non-discrimination policy.
This new initiative would enable transsexuals in all stages of transition, such as cross-dressers, “inter-sexed” persons, and “inter-gendered” persons – groups that all deny their birth sex - to be included in the non-discrimination policy.
The Student Advisory Committee to the Chancellor recently met with Moeser to discuss what he should do and how students “feel” about this issue. Needless to say, if "gender identity" is added to the UNC non-discrimination policy, it could have serious implications. For example, the creation of gender neutral bathrooms and special counseling to help students “transfer” gender could follow.
Given what we have just learned about the UNC students’ Orgasm Awareness Festival, it might be advisable for taxpayers to contact James Moeser (firstname.lastname@example.org) to offer some insight on “gender identity discrimination.”
Clearly, UNC needs some guidance from outside the walls of the asylum. The inmates have been in charge for too long.