Cliff?s Notes

Posted: Oct 18, 2004 12:00 AM

Hello again, Cliff. I hope you had a nice weekend. I had a chance to visit ?your? website over the weekend. I noticed that you posted a ?notice to your students? about my previous articles ?Shut up and teach!? and ?Shut up and sue!?

I have reproduced the ?notice? below with comments between the various sections that made me feel uncomfortable and, in general, hurt my feelings badly:

Notice to my students: someone has published illegally in what purports to be an "article" material from my web site, that is, portions of my assignments. 

I would contend that it actually is an article, Cliff. It was written as a form of criticism within the bounds of the ?fair use? doctrine. Do you know what that means, Cliff? Do you mind if I call you Cliff?

The article, among many misrepresentations, implies I require that you write about certain topics.

You really blew it there, Cliff.  My article (it really was an article) makes it clear that you offer a biased list of ?suggested? topics. I didn?t say ?required,? I said ?suggested.? Read the article again, Cliff. It should be easy to find. It is all over the world, now. It is being read in foreign countries like Israel, Australia, and even California!

As you know, you have always had a wide choice of topics to write about in your papers.  The same is true for the Argument Paper.  I believe in and practice academic freedom. 

Have you ever seen the movie Office Space, Cliff? Let?s just say that the students ?got the memo? and they probably didn?t think that you offered a ?wide choice of topics.? That?s probably why there was a complaint filed against you with ?students for academic freedom.? That complaint was reprinted in my last article. And, by the way, is ?fair use? a form of academic freedom that you support?

You are not limited in any way to the topics below.  The reason the material from my web site in the "article" is illegal is that the author never obtained, didn't even ask for, my permission to publish copyrighted material.

I don?t need it. It is again an issue of ?fair use,? Cliff. Or should I call you, Clifton? By the way, do you have a lawyer yet?  Of course, you will need one for your lawsuit against me. I am certainly ready. In fact, I have a legal team of 30 attorneys working with my website, Unfortunately for you, they are committed to working against, not for, academic tyrants. Hasn?t anyone contacted you to offer free legal representation? Let me know how that goes, Cliff.

The "article" uses vindictive, rude language, language that is entirely unprofessional and inappropriate in a scholarly article.

Now, come on, Clifton.  ?Your? site (not the Cal State, Long Beach site, but ?your? site) characterizes people like me as ?homophobes? for opposing gay marriage. Actually, I oppose gay marriage for religious reasons. Are you characterizing my religion as a disease? Now isn?t that just a little bit ?rude? and ?vindictive??

This person's site is an excellent example of an unauthorized web site that has no place in logical discourse.

Unauthorized? That isn?t true, Clifton. I just renewed by domain license yesterday. That was made possible by the generous contributions of readers everywhere who will pay good money to watch me kick your as* all over the internet. Now, granted, the material on my site isn?t as ?logical? or ?scholarly? as ?queer literary criticism? but we can?t all be intellectual giants, Cliff. Please don?t be so haughty and arrogant.

Cliff, you don?t have a leg to stand on, legally or morally. You don?t understand the distinction between ?commercial use? and ?fair use,? you don?t understand the First Amendment, you aren?t dedicated to academic freedom, you are obsessed with Wilde sexual literature, you hate President Bush to the point of obsession, and, more than anything, you are digging a deeper hole for yourself, while you are helping me sell books (signed copies just $19.95 plus shipping and handling on my fully authorized website, perfect for Christmas, birthdays, or that special kid who is about to leave for college) and, not to mention, keeping me and millions of others young with the therapeutic experience of intense laughter. (Sorry for the run-on sentence, Cliff. I am not an English professor).

Other than that, you are a pretty swell guy, Clifton. I hope to hear from you soon. I really mean that.

Dr. Mike S. Adams respects the right of every academic elite to make a complete as* of himself in public. In fact, he helps many exercise their rights every year.  Some say it is what he does best.