The Comprehensive-Universal-Body-Parts Solution

Posted: Nov 12, 2007 10:52 AM
The Comprehensive-Universal-Body-Parts Solution

Americans have grown cynical of the political quagmire inside Washington’s Beltway. Non-stop bickering over illegal immigration, healthcare, unemployment, abortion, public education, stem-cell research, prison capacity, and more has left every conscientious American yearning for better results. However, our quibbling politicians seem to succeed only at letting us down. They brazenly promote self-centered agendas versus honoring their oaths to serve regular Americans like you and me.

Meanwhile, you and I encounter governmental failures every day. Poor citizens and non-documented aliens live in deplorable conditions that can stir sorrow in the most pitiless and greedy among us. Ill-fated gang bangers and drug addicts commit senseless crimes that can rouse a modicum of aggression even from model pacifists like Cindy Sheehan. Worse, the outrageous costs and abuses of the world’s finest healthcare system have finally been exposed (thanks to Michael Moore and his spellbinding documentary Sicko). But that’s not all; our advancements in medical science and laws protecting abortion suggest that impeding the progress of stem-cell research may no longer make sense.

Then there is our job market. Sure, America’s unemployment rate remains incredibly low, but no one can argue that idle Americans do not exist. Those Americans averse to working (in jobs illegal workers gladly accept) simply need more opportunities with better incentives. Our law-abiding-illegal workforce would likely welcome additional opportunities, as well.

On top of these problems, public education remains a disaster, despite our flushing more money down its system than ever before. Leading politicians, teacher-union spokesmen, and education gurus forever insist on wasting more of our money without producing positive results.

The problems in Washington’s often lie in the convoluted thinking behind legislative good intensions. However, all hope is not lost. Sunday night the National Geographic Channel may have unveiled a real answer to these problems in Lisa Ling’s documentary about the world’s thriving black market for human body parts. Just imagine how American competition could perfect this industry while curing many of our society’s afflictions. We simply need to make it legal.

Our politicians should remove the tolls and barriers that encumber what we could entitle The Comprehensive-Universal-Body-Parts Solution. It’s a bipartisan plan that would offer something to everyone. First, we would begin by recruiting illegal immigrants willing to harvest some of their body parts for medical research and organ transplants. Unlike a communist approach, our program would be strictly voluntary -- except for extreme criminal offenses, of course.

Sure, this proposal might seem eccentric or even extreme. However, if we could just recover from the politically correct pistol-whipping we’ve suffered over the last several decades, it would make perfect sense. Yet, even PC extremists would likely find this solution enticing.

Why? Well, legalizing this thriving, black-market would definitely strike a surge in America’s Gross Domestic Product. The distribution channel would create a plethora of new jobs. Our leading healthcare system would advance, but more importantly, healthcare costs would drop as participation increased.

It’s basic economics really: supply and demand. Currently demand exceeds supply, but legalizing the market would open tremendous opportunities for new suppliers.

One significantly positive outcome would be that our struggling hospitals along our southern border (which currently provide much of the free healthcare to illegal immigrants) would probably benefit the most financially. They would likely become the industry’s wholesale suppliers -- exactly the shot in the arm those hospitals need.

Imagine the possibilities. How much would a wealthy, blind American spend for a perfectly good eyeball?

Diabetes? No problem -- here’s a pancreas, but it’ll cost you.

Need a liver? Let’s haggle.

No red-blooded American would imagine deporting an illegal immigrant willing to donate a healthy kidney to an American in need. Talk about a patriotic contribution.

But this plan would not be limited to illegal immigrants by any means. As the industry grew, the economic incentive to market newborn organs might convince American women of all classes to stop considering abortions. Of course an operation would be a lot for a little tike to undergo, but the hardship of a surgery would be far less traumatic than any abortion would be. Plus, at $250,000 for a kidney, that’s a tantalizing reward for anyone to save more than one human life. In fact, with the right financial incentives, the phrase “unwanted pregnancy” would become an oxymoron.

Our education system would also flourish. Getting Grandma to part with a lung would certainly provide ample profit to send Junior to private school. Eventually, significantly less money would be wasted on public schools because the campuses would be deserted – that is until private schools and other businesses bought or leased the properties.

The benefits seem endless really. With all the spare parts that would eventually be lying around, embryonic-stem-cell research would become yesterday’s science.

To resolve prison overcrowding, we could easily create more space by harvesting the vital organs from death-row inmates. Talk about a common sense approach. Those murderers would truly do something to pay for their crimes. And they would no longer siphon money from innocent taxpayers forced to keep them alive. For those killers who join the program with high cholesterol or weight issues, well, we would simply put them on a rigorous workout and diet schedule until they were healthy again, and then it would be off to see the surgeon.

To finance deporting terrorists and other criminal aliens, we could allow them to choose the body part they want to donate to a needy American. It would be a win-win situation.

Finally, just consider all the tax revenue this would create. Name a politician who wouldn’t love that.

I’m sure Republicans and Democrats will clearly see the significant amount of common ground this solution offers both parties. It’s literally time to come together, America, so contact your representatives today!