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OPINION
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Climate Hoax Hacks Love Putin

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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Sergey Guneev, Sputnik, Kremlin Pool Photo via AP

Here’s the thing – you cannot claim to both oppose Putin and fight global warming. Of course, Putin exists and global warming is a giant scam designed to separate you from your money and freedom, but regardless, you cannot coherently posture both ways at once. But then, coherence is optional. The green new dealers are Putin’s best pals whose frivolous obsession is killing Ukrainian kids. And we need to never let them forget it.

Also, where did the masks go? I guess we have another official Important Thing to focus on so COVID is over.

Climate Cultists Are Eager Tools of Putin

Once upon a time – like a bit over a year ago – America was a net energy exporter. We drilled and pumped and did not have to pay the Russians to buy their oil. But some of you people were very, very upset that Donald Trump was mean to people on Twitter and you voted for that desiccated old pervert instead. And when Crusty came into office he brought along a whole bunch of religious fanatics who really, really cared about the weather in a century – certainly more than they cared about America.

So the Asterisk Administration declared war on the American fossil fuel. We went from being an exporter under Trump to an importer under Lump. And that was okay. Shutting down pipelines, breaking leases, banning exploration – not only would this innovative masochism keep the polar bears from bursting into flame but it would also crush the dirty, sweaty, patriotic and normal people who worked in the energy industry. Punishing these patriots was a delightful dollop of whipped cream with a cherry on top of making America weaker and poorer. For Democrats and their globalist pals, this was a win-win.

Except now, we have to make up for that fuel deficit by buying Russian oil, and when we buy Russian oil we buy cluster bombs and T-90s and other things that kill little Ukrainian kids. We have been told that killing Ukrainian kids is bad by the regime media, proving the broken clock theory, but boy, is it hard for the climate cultists to deal with the cognitive dissonance. 

And that cognitive dissonance is the tension between rising gas prices, which are killing Democrat political prospects in November, and not reversing their long-sought goal of neutering America’s domestic oil industry. The banning the Russian oil part is easy – the pressure is almost certainly going to force Grandpa Badfinger to agree to cut it off soon. But the replacing it part is the problem – prices are going to go up, up, up, and Biden has this easy solution – unleash America’s oil resources – that his lunatics will not let him use.

And people will see it and be furious. They will be paying $8 a gallon when there’s oil right here in America we can’t touch because the liberal donors in Manhattan, Marin County, and Santa Monica won’t let us.

Oh, how I love Democrats being put in this position. Anger the voters or the weather goddess! Or both!

Masks are Stupid

But you knew that. The idiocy of wrapping your face in some fabric that has pores exponentially larger than the virus that it is supposed to stop was always apparent. When Fauci – whatever happened to that creepy little sex dwarf anyway? (BTW, NEVER Google that term) – initially started talking about masks, it was to tell us they were essentially useless. And he was right. Well, he had to be right once, since he’s taken every possible position in his relentless pursuit of science. Of course, “science” means whatever narrative the ruling class wants at a particular moment.

Well, masks are vanishing. I was in the Free State of Florida and there were almost none to be seen. I visited Las Vegas and there weren’t any. There were still some in the airport, but even in LA people were sitting without them in greater numbers. No one hassled me. On the plane I nursed a coffee the whole flight. On one flight, not a whisper about masks. On another flight, they repeated the idiotic “pull your mask up between sips” thing. They can Toobin-pull something.

Even in coastal California, with its surfeit of erotically deprived suburban wine women who find meaning in “surviving” this pseudo-pandemic, there are more and more people just opting out. The lib governors, though, cannot just concede the obvious and end the misery. That would embarrass their strongest supporters, the idiotic aspiring fascist constituency, so the rules are still in effect and are still enforced against little kids with the willing connivance of the public-school teachers unions.

Don’t ever tell me about how great teachers are. They have shafted our kids and they have earned our contempt.

So the pandemic is going away, not because of science – this was never about science – but because of bad polls. They will just have to find some other petty tyranny to inflict on us. Hey, there’s always sacrificing to confront Russia, for some reason. Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Any scam will do, as long as it brings them power.

Pre-Order my new non-fiction book from Regnery We'll Be Back: The Fall and Rise of America and get my Kelly Turnbull conservative action thriller series that shows what happens if America splits into red and blue countries after going down the kind of path our real-life ruling class has chosen. The sixth, The Split, is now out, but get all these action-packed bestsellers, including People's Republic, ,Indian Country, Wildfire, Collapse, and Crisis!

My super-secret email address is kurt.schlichter@townhall.com.

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