Opinion

Come On Democrats, Impeach Trump!

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Posted: Apr 22, 2019 12:01 AM
The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not represent the views of Townhall.com.
Come On Democrats, Impeach Trump!

Source: AP Photo/Andrew Harnik

I dare Nancy Pelosi to impeach Donald Trump.

All decent people agree that impeachment is a moral necessity. It was a smokescreen that the prosecutor the libs squeed over and his flock of slobbering Democrat donors and activists could not manage to find Schiff showing Trump was guilty of anything! It was part of the giant conspiracy to hide the manifest, obvious, totally-a-thing TREASON TRAITOR COLLUSION EMOULUMENTS reality! And the Democrats know it’s true because the Voices tell them.

So many Voices, not just on cable news but echoing around inside their heads, whispering TREASON. TRAITOR. COLLUSION. EMOULUMENTS.

Listen to the Voices, Democrats. Impeach Trump.

Impeachment is a moral necessity! It was so obvious from the way the Mueller Report says that Trump was innocent of whatever collusion is, and that he cannot be proven guilty of whatever obstruction is, that he’s totally guilty of both! The truth is in there, behind the redactions, in the emanations, lurking under the penumbras. William Barr can’t hide it any longer!

The #Resistoids aren’t crazy. You’re crazy.

So why won’t Nancy Pelosi allow the valiant defenders of goodness and rightness who are the left-of-the-left Democrats to bring articles of impeachment in the House? Cowardice. She’s afraid, afraid of justice. Why do you hate justice so much, Nancy?

You must impeach President Trump today!

And I am not saying that because I think it would be hilarious if you let the nimrods who actually run your shabby party lead you into a political disaster of epic proportions. I am not saying that because it would result in a crushing backlash in next year’s elections as the American people rebuke you Democrats for your gibbering insanity and asinine coup-plotting. My interest is totally in seeking justice n’ stuff.

If you don’t impeach him, you hate justice.

It’s your duty to impeach, as whoever Seth Abramson is pointed out in a 451-tweet thread, to demonstrate to the nation how the total exoneration of President Trump was actually a crushing indictment of his criminal criminality of criminalness. And if you won’t allow the Democrats to impeach him, Professor Abramson is going to launch another 726-tweet thread about how you have betrayed your party and America.

Don’t betray your party and America, Nancy. Impeach him. Do it now.

Heed the call of the Woke Caucus and let them bring their articles of impeachment to the floor of the House. Political super-geniuses like Green New Deal Girl and the one who might have married her brother are totally in touch with the groundswell of popular support for impeachment – their constituents in New York and Mogadishu West are 100% behind it! Whether it’s a sparsely-bearded app maker sitting in a Starbucks, a Wellesley grad living off daddy’s money as she tries to produce a one-woman show based on her dream journal, or an aspiring Somali-American activist trying to come up with airfare back to the homeland to make car bombs for Allah, it’s unanimous! Everybody they know is down for impeachment! 

The American people want to keep hearing about this 24/7! Ignore how Rachel Maddow’s ratings have plummeted. Forget how CNN now gets crushed by the Bass Fishin’ Channel. Trust me. There’s an insatiable hunger for another two years of bombshells and revelations that are certain to do in the BAD ORANGE MAN and yet never seem to.

Give the people, or at least the people in San Francisco, what they want. Impeach Trump now! I promise that it won’t further disgust and annoy the normals and make it even easier for him to cruise to reelection as he points to a supercharged economy, victory over ISIS, and federal court judges who don’t vote like they are from Hawaii. 

Sure, some wimps in your party think that your candidates should go into the 2020 campaigns with actual policies other than TRUMP TREASON TRAITOR COLLUSION EMOULUMENTS, but we both know that policies are not exactly the Democrats’ strong suit. “Give us more of your money while we take more of your freedom” sounds appealing to the kind of savvy, smart folks who dodge the heaps of human waste scattered across the sidewalks of their coastal blue cities, but those knuckle-dragging Jesus gun people between I-5 and I-95 are too uppity and disobedient to see the wisdom in it. No, stick with making Trump the centerpiece of the campaign. And turn it up to 11 with impeachment proceedings.

Cynics might grumble that even if the House impeaches Trump, the Senate will never remove him. The math is too hard, as well as racist. It would take 67 votes and there are only 47 Democrats and Democrat-curious independents. You would have to get 20 Republicans to fold. The good news is that these are Republicans, so folding is what they do! 

Why look, Mitt Romney is already with you! Sure, actual conservatives may call him a submissive Fredocon weasel, but now that he’s totally harmless he’s a respected elder in eyes of the mainstream media. Maybe your media pals can offer their proverbial strange new respect to another 19 GOP Senate sissies and get them to flip as well! Thom Tillis is always ready to roll over for the libs. That Lamar guy is soft too. Maybe you can link it to legalizing dope and pulling all our troops out of everywhere and get Rand Paul on-board too!

The point is that you have to try. You owe it to the American people. Throw the President in the briar patch!

Come on, Nancy, man-up. Impeach Donald Trump!

The Democrats have no real plan for America other than to retake power, but what would they do with it if we were dumb enough to let them? As I show in my action-packed novels about the United States disunited into red and blue, People's RepublicIndian Country and Wildfire, they would turn America into a libfascist nightmare. Check out what could have been if Trump had not been so treacherous and terrible as to be innocent instead of guilty!