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OPINION

We Need To Retoxify Masculinity

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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Let’s be clear: My pronouns are “he,” “his,” and “stop being creepy weirdos.”

Okay, maybe the last one isn’t a pronoun, but then again, I’m a man and if I want an insulting string of words directed at the nattering nabobs of gender neutrality to be a pronoun, it is a pronoun. And if you don’t like it, fight me.

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We need more masculinity, and the more toxic the social justice warriors think it is, the better.

Bizarrely, now shaving companies are allying with the SJWs in an Axis of Irritants. Gillette is channeling campus gender studies dorks to try to sell you razors. They all think you should soften up, get in touch with your feelings, and submit. 

I say tighten up, let your righteous fury flow through you, and tell them all to kiss your Schumer.

Much as I advocate global warming, I am a strong proponent of toxic masculinity. It’s also known as “masculinity.”

Risk-taking.

Ferociousness.

Independence.

These are the qualities the SJWs want to wring out of us. Why? Because these are the qualities they cannot overcome. They want us weak, passive and obedient. That’s how they get power. Some bloated Trigglypuff screaming about the male gaze can’t force us to do anything. Sure, a lot of them have weight on us, but if we laugh at them and simply say “No” to their demands, they’re stuck. Are they going to go get a rifle and make us? 

Nope. They have to talk us into surrendering, or really, pester us into surrendering. Which means talking us out of the uppity, aggressive, no-damns-given masculinity that is the last obstacle to their fussy, naggy domination.

Don’t be fooled by the “toxic” qualifier – all masculinity is toxic to these human weebles. What they call “toxic” is really the essence of freedom. It’s toxic all right, but to their goals, not ours. Masculinity means freedom from them and the puffy, non-binary utopia they dreamed up because that’s the only world in which such losers could be anything more than a sorry punchline.

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It’s a War on Testosterone, and we’re culturally surrounded. But that’s awesome. As Toxic Male Icon and Army hero, General Anthony McAuliffe of the 101st Airborne put it at Bastogne during the Battle of the Bulge, “Men, we are surrounded by the enemy. We have the greatest opportunity ever presented an army. We can attack in any direction.” And Marine legend and Toxic Male “Chesty” Puller said something similar: “We're surrounded. That simplifies our problem of getting to these people and killing them." By the way, General Anthony McAuliffe, when the krauts demanded he surrender, responded, aptly, “Nuts!”

Now, if that last paragraph is incomprehensible to you, your masculinity is in a dire state and you need some re-toxification stat. Grab some non-craft beer, some ribs, and go watch Where Eagles Dare on Netflix. After that emergency treatment, find a man who with whom to go shoot guns and speak of brave deeds done in the face of America’s enemies. This will begin your recovery.

Am I saying men and women are different? Yes. Of course, so do the SJWs. They just want to eliminate those differences because those differences are an obstacle to their power. Embrace who you are, man or woman. Men and women are complimentary, the weaknesses of each compensated for by the strengths of the other. 

Being a man does not mean being a sad, hairy, lumpy version of a women. Nor does being a woman mean being a smaller, baby-having man. Being your gender is part of who you are, and by erasing that they seek to change you from who you are into who they want you to be: A neutered drone.

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And “toxic femininity” is next on their target list.

The answer to the attack on toxic masculinity is to recommit to what they label “toxicity,” because what they call “toxic masculinity” is not about criminality or being a jerk. It’s about the basic premise of being a man, the role of builder and destroyer, engineer and warrior. They want to take what makes you special from you, so all you have are the scraps they choose to give you. And then they will own you.

Do you want to be owned? 

Cue the SJWs liars to hop in to say that praising masculinity means celebrating rape and abuse and mindless criminality and mayhem. But everything leftists say is a lie, and so is this. The answer to rape and abuse and mindless criminality and mayhem is, of course, more masculinity – the confrontation of evil, and its destruction, by righteous force. And righteous force is a masculine notion.

When some thug who didn’t get the memo about hugging is breaking down the door to get you, do you want some neckbeard sissy with a disposable Gillette standing by your side, or a toxic male with a 12-gauge Mossberg loaded with buckshot racking in a shell?

See, the vast majority of the world does not have the time or inclination for this kind of frivolous campus pap. The real world is hard and ugly, not the soft, safe and secure urban zone cleared and protected by the toxic males (and females – there are gloriously toxically masculine women too) in uniform that these SJWs despise. Toxic masculinity created a safe space here in the west where fundamentally silly people can freely express these ridiculous notions. But out there, there are real monsters, not mere childish boogeymen like “manspreaders.” And the only thing that keeps them at bay are those infused with toxic masculinity (some of them women) with bayonets.

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I talk a lot about a world where men give up on being men in my latest novel, Wildfire (and the earlier People’s Republic and Indian Country), which detail a blue America bereft of freedom in large part because it is bereft of masculinity. 

Don’t let it happen.

Buy guns.

Drink beer.

And tell the SJWs to go to hell.

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