Opinion

Annoy Liberals By Refusing To Care About Their Stupid Fake Outrages

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Posted: Oct 22, 2018 12:01 AM
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Annoy Liberals By Refusing To Care About Their Stupid Fake Outrages

This may shock you, but I care less that a bunch of foreign barbarians killed a foreign barbarian supporter in a foreign country than I do about illegal alien foreign barbarians here in America killing Americans. A lot less.

This is yet another example of my – and perhaps your – shameless wrongthinking. I reject the elite’s fussy paradigm of Things That We Must Pretend Matter. I will stubbornly exercise my right not to get exercised over yet another outrage ginned up by people who are determined to manipulate me. It just ain’t happening.

As I explain in my hilarious and obnoxious new book, Militant Normals: How Regular Americans Are Rebelling Against the Elite to Reclaim Our Democracy, the elite thinks it has some sort of Gaia-given right to demand we join in its endless series of two-minute hates about the outrage du jour. But we’re woke, and it’s just not happening. We don’t care about the climate scam, or illegal aliens being sad about having to leave, or their cheesy charges against conservative jurists. It’s all a lie and scam. Notice how believing all women sure stopped being a thing the second Kegmaster Kavanaugh got confirmed? Right, Sherrod “Pimp Hand” Brown? 

In the current convulsion, our moral and intellectual betters who make up our glorious elite are in a fake frenzy because Third World thugs are acting like Third World thugs. That Khashoggi guy was a journalist, damnit! Journalists are special! He wrote for the Washington Post, so he matters…not like that Kate Steinle girl, who was just some American who got in the way of a bullet fired by an illegal alien who the elite ensured was not deported. Everyone get mad, and then let’s cut loose our ally Saudi Arabia, which happens to be the long-term policy goal of the same liberal elite pushing this crisis. Weird how that works.

Oh, and how dare you mention that Khashoggi cavorted with Hamas and al-Qaeda types and generally loved radical Islam and hated America.

I’m not pro-chopping up political opponents, which I only feel the need to state because some willfully obtuse lib jerk is going to claim my refusal to freak out over bad people acting exactly like bad people act means I support chopping up political opponents. Chopping up political opponents is generally a bad thing, though I will not hold my breath waiting for the libs to, for example, cancel their holidays in Havana because the Castro clan has butchered tens of thousands of people for preferring freedom to tyranny. 

Liberal outrage, you see, is super-selective. It only exists when there’s a related liberal policy goal it can support. And, as the Steinle family found out, it never exists where it risks disrupting our elite’s preferred narrative.

I don’t care about the Khashoggi caper because I see no reason to join in the faux shock that foreigners are terrible, or that the Saudis are so especially terrible that we must abandon a crucial ally against Iran, which hangs more gays from a single crane every day than the Saudis have ever chopped up in their consulates. 

Weird, but the elite was totally mad about Donald Trump pulling out of the “We’ll pay you mullahs to get nukes slightly slower” deal and these same people are now demanding we ditch our primary Arab ally against Tehran. I mean, if I were cynical, I’d say this whole imbroglio was a steaming wheelbarrow of crap.

But I’m not cynical. Their motive for trying to destroy the US-Israeli-Saudi alliance against the mullahs is totally that they care about this sketchy dude who none of us ever heard of before last week. And Chet agrees. 

Chet’s my unicorn.

Oh, and it’s all Trump’s fault because Trump is magical and omnipotent and he personally approves Arab hit team operations in Asia Minor. Or maybe it’s Jared Kushner who did that. It’s hard to know which of the White House masterminds (who we are simultaneously informed are scatter-brained half-wits) is pulling the strings around the world. After all, no Neo-Dark Age potentate ever murdered anybody until Felonia Milhous von Pantsuit lost.

This whole thing is stupid and I won’t be part of it.

I also refuse to care that the president made a crack about that congressman who tossed around that reporter a million years ago. I don’t care about that at all. I refuse to pretend that some harmless gag is a declaration of open season on the Fourth Estate – especially when the media is squeeing in giddy delight at lib pols actual calls for violence and intimidation. It was a joke. And it was kind of funny. And if that horrifies Jim Acosta and the rest of the dancing dillweeds of the press, too…damn…bad.

I don’t care. And if you think that makes me a bad person, good. Then you won’t try to hang around me. 

See, I reserve the right to decide what I care about. My caring, my choice. And I think I’ll care about things that matter to me, not things that liberal snobs care about. 

I care about the interests of the United States of America more than the interests of foreign countries.

I care about Americans not being murdered here more than foreigners being murdered somewhere else. 

I don’t care about the media’s peeves and whining. It brought all its misfortune upon itself with its bias, incompetence, and general scuzziness.

I don’t care about global warming. I’ll drive a gas guzzler if I feel like it.

I don’t care about someone’s preferred pronouns. He or she – pick one.

I don’t care about illegal aliens’ sob stories. Go home.

I don’t care about people who feel unsafe, unhappy, or unloved because of what I think, do, and say. Too bad. I will think, do and say what I please.

I don’t care, because I don’t feel like caring about your pet outrages, and you can’t make me.

Check out my new book Militant Normals: How Regular Americans Are Rebelling Against the Elite to Reclaim Our Democracy, but only if you enjoy annoying liberals, pinkos, SJWs, comm-symps, Never Trump sissies, and people who think the weather will kill them unless the government orders you to ride a bike to work. Order it now to own them all.