President Gaffe's Bigger Problems

Kevin McCullough
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Posted: Mar 22, 2009 12:00 AM

When 84% of the American people, according to the AOL Hot Seat weekend poll, think a joke you cracked on late night television was either tone-deaf/insensitive or worse yet flat-out offensive then you might think you have problems. (Heh who are we kidding? You do! You do!) Just because Britain's largest daily newspaper has a top ten gaffe reel assembled, and online before your presidency is barely 60 days old, you might believe that you're the laughingstock of serious members of the world community of leaders. (Again, likely, you're right.) And when you take the time to address an Islamic Republic via YouTube (after they had been burning you in effigy for weeks) with a plea to come to the table of intellects and have a philosophical wine and cheese night about how the world looks in your unicorn-excretion of utopia, but can still hear the ripple of laughter from Tehran five days later, you might even wonder if you deserve it. (Again, batting a thousand on this one champ!)

Now if these elements composed the entire universe of faux pas committed in your time in office then you might even be able to withstand them.

But if these embarrassments followed things like giving the Prime Minister of Britain twenty-five DVD's that were not even compatible with European media players, or accepting priceless gifts from fellow heads of state that were made out of the very historical relics that loosed the chains holding freedom from people like you from being able to achieve your dreams, then it just begin to looks tacky.

But the truth is Mr. President you're not tacky.

You're cheap. Selfish. You bathe in arrogance. And your words sans teleprompter are cruel, cutting, and more times than not confusing.

I personally have received e-mail, tweets, and MySpace/facebook messages from hundreds of parents in the past 48 hours since you ridiculed retarded kids, some of whom could easily whoop you in any number of sports. For you to do it only the day before World Down's Syndrome Day is an even nicer touch. I've heard from families who have down syndrome children, one family that had three, a number of messages from families that just identified their children as challenged or disabled, and some who told me that their child's diagnosis--like my own son--was one of mental or physical retardation.

Do you know what that is Mr. President?

Literally it means "slow." You know that word right? Sort of identical to the way your economic recovery plan is working.

And not satisfied with plastering yourself on every magazine cover, seeking out the late night spotlight in ways that even make former President Clinton look chaste, frequently interrupting prime time television forcing networks to lose millions and lay people off by your demonstrable insecurity of needing people to like you, you're coming back this Tuesday night.

Now the last time you had a prime time news conference you filibustered the answering of the questions spending a full ten minutes to answer the very first one.

You also promised us something that night, sir. You promised us that your fed team, led by a man who was up until recently a tax evader, would present us a plan to save the banking system "the next morning!" You even refused to answer a question related to the issue citing the following morning's "plan."

So if someone at the press conference asks you where it is this Tuesday evening, what is there left for you to do? Drop kick an infant through the service entrance of the West Wing?

The truth is, President Obama, the number of economists that have pointed you to the proper solutions for the economy is running in the multiple of hundreds.

And yet you do not act, or when you do, it's to have your tricked out caddy pull up to the back door of NBC Los Angeles so that you can put on your collectable USC sunglasses, stroll in looking very GQ, and insult the most vulnerable amongst us.

But where is the seriousness?

Where is your plan to deal with a now nuclear boasting Iran?

Where is your plan to deal with a growing nuclear desire in North Korea?

Where is your plan to halt the job losses in nearly a dozen states that are hovering near 10% unemployment (more than double the national average of Bush's entire two terms?)

Where is your plan to create the opportunity for risk takers to create new business or generate new companies that can hire people and put them to work?

Sure your NCAA picks were horrible, and most of the nation thinks that a university basketball coach at Duke is more qualified for your job than you ever will be for his, but how will you convince "We the People" otherwise?

One of your closest advisors and longest supporters, Warren Buffet, recently stated in an interview that your priorities should be as numbered: 1.The Economy, 2.The Economy, 3.The Economy. Notice the trend?

You could resign but then you place the rudder of the free world into the hands of a man who is arguably more arrogant than you, far more prone to hubris, and far too dimwitted to know the difference.

Your dishonest policies on the science of stem cells, your greatest export to date to other countries: access to abortion, and your insistence on hidden taxes on every American (cap and trade) are not helping America's confidence in you either.

You do not rule a center-left nation Mr. President, and that's why you're feeling the pain and discomfort at present. In fact you don't "rule" anything at all. We the American people have lent you the authority and the responsibility of administrating our nation's concerns for a brief period of time. We rule you. You work for us.

In order to improve the situation one of two things must change.

You must move center right, or be prepared to lose in 2012 by a margin larger than your win in 2008.

There are more of us than there are of you. So I'd take the hint, and the sooner the better.

The challenges you face are grim ones. That is why I pray for you daily. It probably wouldn't hurt for you to return to the practice of seeking God yourself. I have a feeling that your absence at church since the election might be clouding your clarity, even on simple matters.

Your win, Mr. President, was a symbol of something significant in American history. You are blessed with the power and position to bring about great things. Use your influence to do that.

So that then, as a person whose race had previously been oppressed, you might be an agent to lift others up, starting with those who have far less than you, but that can bowl a 300 to your improved 129.