In addition to today being the 2nd anniversary of its founding, Veterans Day is always an appropriate day to share information and updates on #HELP22--a growing movement to help address the startling and unacceptable fact that, on average, as many as 22 of our nation’s veterans take their own lives each day.
The more I learned of this the more I felt a moral mandate to help draw attention to it and to bring what resources I have to bear to help address it. I thought about my network and reached out to three of the most caring and gifted people I know, each with a particularly unique skill set and network of their own: Former USS Cole Commander Kirk Lippold USN (Ret), longtime philanthropist and business leader William Fidler and noted writer, media consultant and nonprofit management pro Christian Josi. As I expected, each jumped “all-in” and together, we established #HELP22.
As a lifelong mental health and wellness professional, I had already begun to dedicate the 22nd day of each month providing counseling to any veteran who wants it, free of charge. The response was immediate, and there are some I still work with to this day. From this experiment came the founding mission of #HELP22—to carefully grow my little experiment into a national network of first-rate counselors, life coaches, social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, yogis—any and all legitimate practitioners operating in the wellness space around the country.
Indeed this exercise has taught me much. The individuals I have counseled devoted themselves to our freedom, despite the gravest of risks. Many of us can’t imagine leaving our loved ones, leaving the country and putting our lives on the line to defend freedom, but this is real-life for our veterans. Many have born witness to acts of horrific violence that, thankfully, most of us will never have to confront. Some themselves have been injured and maimed. Some have witnessed the cold-blooded murder of civilians, including children, by the enemy—often in retribution for aiding our cause of freedom and aiding our troops and assets.
Many come home with indescribable pain and anguish, with little in terms of tangible, non-bureaucratic options to get help. To be heard. This is the void that #HELP22 hopes to help fill, while inspiring others to pay attention and do the same.
Here’s the thing that has really stuck with me from the beginning: Not one person I have spoken with has asked for any sympathy. Not one ounce of self-pity has been expressed. These courageous, commendable men and women have simply wanted to be heard and given tools to manage their struggles and ease their troubled hearts and heads without having to jump through hoops or spend a small fortune to do so. They have wanted to share the roots of their pain—not to complain about it, but to explain it. This instinctive desire opens the door to the workings of human empathy. And empathy, properly harnessed, is one of the greatest human healing forces the world has ever known.
This void—the empathy void—is another thing that our #HELP22 movement wants to help fill.
The fact that the men and women who risked their lives doing the work of defending America and her allies should find themselves in such desperation that they take their own lives is a cruel irony, and a largely preventable one. #HELP22 will, of course, never be a complete solution to veteran suicide, but we are working hard to do our bit. For as the great man of peace and healing Archbishop Desmond Tutu said much more eloquently: "Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world."
Veterans: If you or someone you know is hurting or struggling, there is help and hope. Do not suffer in silence. You delivered for us. Let us deliver for you.
Happy Veterans Day and may God bless and keep them. And may we as a society step up to help ensure their well-being here at home. Beyond posting Veterans Day thank you memes on social media and flying a flag (both of course good and worthy), we challenge you take some time to think about what you can do year-round—what small or large role you can actually play, what resources you can bring to bear—to be a part of the solution. Action, when it comes to confronting a crisis, is the greatest tribute we can pay. Just ask our veterans.
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