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7 Of The Most Ridiculous Cries Of Racism Ever Made

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

If you just assume EVERY cry of "racism" in politics is illegitimate, you'll only occasionally be wrong. That's a consequence both of liberals thinking all conservatives are racist, sexist, homophobic and generally awful people by virtue of being conservative and because yelling "racism" is at the crux of the Left's political appeal to black Americans.


Black Americans have been voting heavily Democratic for almost 50 years and it has been an utter and complete disaster for them. Never has any constituency in American politics been so loyal to a political party with so little to show for it. Yet, all the Left has to do is say, "Those Republicans are racist," and it locks in 90% of the black vote. Until black Americans stop falling for the single most transparent ploy in all of politics and start basing their votes on who supports policies that will actually make their lives better, that's not going to change.

So, with Barack Obama coming up for re-election in 2012 and the Democrats knowing black turnout is one of the keys to his re-election, expect the charges of racism to be practically endless between now and November of 2012. And, folks, as you're about to see, when it comes to extremely silly charges of racism, there are practically no limits to how far the Left will go.

1) Resigning over the word "niggardly:" One day, David Howard was working for the government of D.C., but then, he used the word "niggardly." The next thing you know, such a furor rose up that Howard had to resign because so many ignorant people didn't know the difference between the word "niggardly," which means stingy and the N-bomb.

Eventually, after D.C. became a laughingstock over the incident, Howard did get rehired by the same mayor who originally said he "thought it was the best thing for the city and the administration" for Howard to resign. For using the word "niggardly." Yes, really.


2) Black hole, black whore, whatever! It was a cutesy talking Hallmark card for graduating high school students that referenced the solar system and a black hole. Who could have a problem with that?

It turns out the NAACP did because it insisted the words "black hole" on the card were actually "black whore." That makes perfect sense, right? After all, the words "black whore" obviously go with solar system references much better than the words "black hole" -- oh wait, no, they don't. Too bad no one alerted the NAACP.

3) Black Barbie is cheaper than white Barbie? Must be RACISM! It all started with Wal-Mart cutting the cost of "black Barbie" to almost half that of the "white Barbie" and next thing you know, people were publicly worrying about whether we "value blackness less than whiteness."

Of course, that explains it all! Somewhere in Bentonville, Arkansas, in the bowels of Wal-Mart headquarters, someone said, "Let's degrade the self-worth of black children all across America by slashing the prices of black Barbie dolls!" It was a clever plan, Wal-Mart, but not clever enough!

4) You own a gun because you're a RACIST! There's a reason the 2nd Amendment is called the most racist amendment....ehr, as far as I know, nobody actually calls it that. But, they might as well if Michael Moore is right.


…I am loathe to bring up what is in our head because we don’t like to talk about it so much. But on this particular day, on Martin Luther King Day, I think this needs to be said. That imaginary person that’s going to break into your home and kill you, who does that person look like? You know, it’s not freckle-faced Jimmy down the street, is it really? I mean, that’s not what really, that’s not what really people, we never really want to talk about the racial or the class part of this, in terms of how it’s the poor or it’s people of color that we imagine that we’re afraid of. Why are we afraid? What is that, and it’s been a fear that has existed for a very, very long time.

So, there you have it. You bitter gun clingers bought your weapons of death because you're racists who imagine black people breaking into your house.

5) Will those water buffaloes ever shut up? It all started with a gaggle of annoying sorority women at Penn disturbing people by being deliberately loud. Among other people, one Eden Jacobowitz yelled out of his dorm room window at them. Unfortunately for him, instead of cursing, he got creative and called them "water buffalo."

A few minutes later, the campus police were in his dorm room. Soon thereafter, Penn was prosecuting him for racist "hate speech." Fortunately for Jacobowitz, the story got national attention, including on the Rush Limbaugh show, and instead of his getting steamrolled, the sorority women dropped the charges and ambled off into a mudhole or whatever it is that water buffaloes normally do to relax..


6) If the first name you think of when you hear the word "slave" is LeBron James, you might be Jesse Jackson. LeBron James, who was practically the king of Cleveland, humiliated Cavs fans with the way he left the city. Predictably, this spurred a wave of loathing from Cleveland sports fans and an angry written tirade from Cavs' owner Dan Gilbert.

This gave Jesse Jackson a chance to do what he does best -- get TV coverage by accusing people of being racist.

(Gilbert’s) feelings of betrayal personify a slave master mentality. He sees LeBron as a runaway slave. This is an owner employee relationship — between business partners — and LeBron honored his contract.

The amount of money James left on the table by fleeing Cleveland? As much as $133 million. If that's slavery, a lot of Americans are probably wondering where they can sign up.

7) Dallas is playing a prank on us, right? "Devil's food cake" is racist? When the name of the game is pretending to be offended by racism, there are always a few people who are willing to go that extra mile to find an affront. One such person is Dallas County Commissioner John Wiley Price.

Initially, John Wiley Price got upset because one of his colleagues used the "racist" term "black hole." He actually asked for AN APOLOGY for the use of the word. The next day, as the controversy grew, Price added "devil's food cake" and "black sheep of the family" to the lexicon of racist words we should apparently never say. At this point, we have no word on whether "blackout," "blackball," and "dark chocolate" are all forbidden racist words, but the safe money would have to be on "yes."


Incidentally, John Wiley Price is STILL a Dallas County Commissioner and he made news earlier this year for publicly saying, "All of you are white. Go to hell" to some of his constituents.

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