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OPINION

Priests Rebuke Nancy Pelosi: Repent or Join a Satanic Church

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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I wish the craven evangelical ministers would grow some cojones like “The Priests for Life” obviously have and start rebuking politicians who claim union with Christ while proposing and supporting legislation that’s spawned in the abyss.

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I don’t know if you’re hip to what the Priests for Life did last week but these gents formally sent Nancy Pelosi a little love letter telling that nutty chick, in essence, to either renounce her backing of abortion, as a Catholic, or join a Satanic Church.

Actually they didn’t say join a Satanic Church. But she would fit right in. Yeah, I said it. Nancy and her ilk, if they don’t repent, should renounce Christianity and just formally hook up with whatever hip sect is following el Diablo because their Weltanschauung sho’ doesn’t flow from the scripture.

Just a cursory bounce through the Decalogue and one will quickly see that Nancy and her nabobs are about as Christ-like as Heidi Klum is fat and nasty.

Check it out:

I. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. (Clearly the Progressives have other gods, namely … them.)

II. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images. (Would having magazines depicting these cats in Messianic poses with Messianic mantras, which they don’t virulently condemn, equate idolatry?)

III. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord, thy God, in vain. (Look, taking the name of God in vain just doesn’t mean Nancy yelling GD when the Botox needle strikes a nerve in her forehead. It also means invoking His name for insidious and deceptive reasons.)

IV. Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy. (Yeah, right. Progressives are big churchgoers.)

V. Honor thy father and mother. (Note please that it says, father and mother and not father and father or mother and mother.)

VI. Thou shalt not kill. (Uh, would abortion fall into this category? I’m thinking, yes. By the way, why is it a double homicide when a murderer murders a pregnant mom and her unborn kid and not when a doc sucks an unborn baby through a vacuum cleaner fitted with razor blades at the behest of mommy dearest? Also, why do anti-hunters quote this text when they’re blathering about hunting being murder and they’re mute on this text when it comes to abortion? Please, thrill me with your answers. Send all correspondence to mail@yawn.com.)

VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery. (Must I comment on this one?)

VIII. Thou shalt not steal. (Uh, “wealth redistribution” anyone? Or Fedzilla printing money into oblivion?)

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IX. Thou shalt not bare false witness against your neighbor. (Let’s see: Fast & Furious, Benghazi, IRS v. The Tea Party, NSA Spy Games, Jay Carney, all of their crap-addled campaign speeches. Must I go on?)

X. Thou shalt not covet. (Please. Avarice is all they spawn in their poor duped entitlement culture.)

Yep, ol’ Nance might ought to give the devil a serious look over because the Nine Satanic Statements, from the Satanic Bible by Anton Szandor LaVey, seem more apropos given her penchants.

Check them out …

1. Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence! (Show me one liberal crotch rocket that’s into abstinence over indulgence and I’ll show you someone who doesn’t realize they’re a Tim Tebow yet.)

2. Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams! (I have no idea what that means.)

3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit! (Okay, maybe Pelosi shouldn’t join.)

4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates! (Whew, okay Pelosi is back in because Progressives only love and legislate for Progressives. Their policies have squat to do with independents, right of center peeps, or sane left of center folks. No, they show love only to the special loons who float their wet dream of being Lord of the Serfs).

5. Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek! (Didn’t Obama say it’s payback time after 2012’s election? Would the IRS grinding down Tea Party and Conservative non-profit applicants be vengeance? Does any of this ring a bell? Hail, Satan).

6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires! ( I have no clue what the heck that means, either; but I’m sure Pelosi does.)

7. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development,” has become the most vicious animal of all! (Cock-doodle-do.)

8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification! ( There … you see? The Leftists, in their amorality, shouldn’t even jack with that cosmic killjoy Jehovah! They should pitch their tent on this satanic soil because there is no right or wrong, just pleasure and pain, baby.)

9. And lastly, Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years!

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Good on The Priests for Life for confronting Pelosi and rank disdain for the Verbum Dei. Who knows? Maybe these public rebukes wake her apostate soul up. If not, as we now know, there is another group that’ll take her.

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