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The Top 10 Signs Eric Holder Might Be Lying about Fast and Furious

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

During last Thursday’s White House press conference, President Obama was asked a cruel question regarding whether or not Attorney General Eric Holder knew anything about the ATF deliberately moving thousands of U.S. guns to Mexican drug lords in a nefarious op from hell called “Operation Fast and Furious.” Obama, without batting an eye, forcefully responded, “Who’s Eric Holder?”  

After 45 minutes of grilling from the press corps and showing President Obama pictures of himself on vacation with Holder and YouTube vids of the two of them driving bumper cars together at the Chicago Fairgrounds, Barack finally admitted that he did know of an Eric Holder and that he believed that this Holder gentleman, whom he barely knows, was completely ignorant of the details regarding a huge ass gun running project carried out by our federal government across our southern border which placed firearms into the multitudinous hands of many wannabe Mexican Tony Montanas.

Y’know, sometimes it gets so hard to tell if folks are lying to us that we have to look for telltale signs of deception. Since it’s getting so difficult to determine the facts regarding Holder’s complicity and knowledge of the Fast and Furious scandal, I jotted down ten observations I’ve gleaned from Mr. Holder that make me think he might possibly be reconstructing the truth.

Herewith are the top 10 signs, in David Letterman fashion, that Eric Holder might have lied to congress and to America about Operation Fast and Furious:

10. His greyhound dog is named “Fast” and his Chihuahua is named “Furious.”

9. His voice cracks like Justin Bieber’s whenever he discusses the topic.

8. When he’s constipated, Fast & Furious is his go-to laxative.

7. Every Halloween he dresses like Paul Walker.

6. His right eye violently twitches every time Darrell Issa walks into the room or his name gets mentioned.

5. Roger Clemens tweeted, “Holder’s good. Real good …”

4. His nose grew 19 inches when he claimed no prior knowledge.

3. When he said he didn’t know about F&F his pants burst into flames. It’s true.

2. He keeps trying to change the subject to Solyndra.  

1. King Samir Shabazz just stated on his blog, “Of course he knew, you stupid white cracker b*tches!”

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