Snookie’s Smut or Cowboy Values?

Doug Giles
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Posted: Jan 08, 2011 2:25 PM

I believe it’s written in the book of Revelation that when an over-tanned, drunken dwarf named Snookie rises from the north shore with tetherball-sized silicone ta-tas, gets on TV and parades her pertinacious perversions to American tweens, and said tweens actually take notes during this porn show in order to imitate this wanton wench the following weekend, then my brethren, the end has officially come and the moon will be turned into blood.

Yea, according to the prophets, when parents become so stupid as to yield their young ones’ tender souls unto the influence of a trollop who’s making millions off America by turning her naughty bits into a sexual turnstile, it is at that exact point that Christ, from his celestial perch in heaven, says, “That’s it!” and C4s the planet. I believe that is found in Revelation 6:66. Google it and get back to me.

God, I feel sorry for young parents nowadays. Not only is BHO and his Chicago-based socialistic cabal attempting to muck up your toddler’s economic tomorrow by replacing America’s exceptionalism with government funded, debt-riddled mediocrity, but the progressives are also hammering your children with uncut filth via TV and the Internet in an unprecedented way.

For instance, pops, your little girl is made to feel weird via pop culture if …

1. She doesn’t sleep with a few chicks. Katy Perry does it, and she’s rich and on TV!

2. She doesn’t make out with everything that moves.

3. She doesn’t embrace being bad (as good is so passé, and being a whore, well that’s totally awesome). It’s empowerment!

4. She doesn’t take nude photos and videos of herself and send them around the planet via her cell phone, Facebook and Twitter.

Y’know, if I were a woman I’d be pretty ticked as it appears that “secular progressives” within America have succeeded in making young women known and appreciated only if they’re a mud flap girl. The empowered woman of today, ladies and gents, is the girl who wears a Hustler T- shirt, will strip on command, and has no problemo whatsoever in turning her genitals into a Jiffy Lube.

For the parental units of the Y chromosomes I really feel for you, as well, as the first order of business for this f-f-f-f-fouled-up culture is to strip all your boy’s boyness from him and turn him into a dandy devoid of the masculine richness that the God-blessed testosterone fog provides for the male collective. This ridiculous demonic culture hates men and masculinity, and parents need to fight against our culture’s metro-ing of their man-child with tooth, fang and claw.

Look, you don’t have to be Ezekiel to see that our nation has morally derailed. Seldom do we see people who are righteously worth a crap in this culture get any props or praise. No, in America

we throw mad cash and give TV shows to the banal blonde, the godless Guido, the rich tart with a grainy sex film, the beady-eyed politician selling senate seats, quarterbacks who kill dogs and has-been rockers with hepatitis C.

And then, as a nation, after twenty years of viewing this rubbish we wonder what happened to our values?! Well, Spanky, at some point in time life begins to imitate art and the monkey starts to do what the monkey sees. That’s why, parents, you must take control of what you let your little ones behold.

To assist parents who still care and would like some literary assistance to underscore their righteous traditional values, may I introduce you to the cowboy way, in particular to a rich and rare book—rare in the sense that you won’t see these values portrayed on TV much, at least in a favorable way. The book is Cowboy Values: Recapturing What America Once Stood For, by James P. Owen.

This beautiful book is for parents who are appalled by a culture that glorifies materialism and self-gratification, who loathe the “what's in it for me?” notion our nation has taken on. It’s for us “weirdoes” who feel a deep yearning for a simpler time when civility was the norm and a handshake could seal any deal.

From Amazon’s blurb about the book:

We can't turn back the clock or legislate our way out of society's malaise. But here's what we can do: Look to the bedrock values all Americans share. We may never agree on Iraq, abortion, or same-sex marriage, but surely we can agree that “our word should be our bond.” For a definition of those shared values, we need look no further than the Cowboy Way. Living by a code that centers on principles like honesty, loyalty, and courage, the working cowboy is an enduring American hero—one providing just the kind of inspiration our country needs to find unity and hope in these troubled times. It's not too late for us to get back to the qualities that made America great. Cowboy Values gives us a place to start.

So what’s it going to be, parents? Are your kids going to take their cue from Jersey Shore or from the cowboy way?