The progressive America-haters were so let down this past week when authorities revealed that the bomber in the failed NYC bomb plot was yet another unibrowed Muslim male between the ages of 18-35. That revelation absolutely ruined their Tuesday and constituted massive movie and cable news re-writes nationwide.
Matter of fact, after the disclosure that Felicia Shazaam was the culprit (or whatever the heck his name is), TMZ.com reported that the ever-fattening Bob Beckel was heard cussin’ all the way over in Phoenix, but no one understood what he was whining about because nobody speaks English in Phoenix anymore. (Cinco de Mayo, Julio? How’s about Cinco de Do-Si-Do back to Meh-hee-co if you are ill-legal-lo? Comprende?)
Yep, the America-loathing lefties were so disappointed that the person who tried to kill thousands of folks in Times Square last week wasn’t their hard-worked, new fangled—although fictitious—boogey man (i.e. the forty-year-old white dude) but was rather another adherent to the “religion of peace”—or is that pieces? The NYPD knew all along that it wasn’t a white dude because when they got into the SUV they immediately noticed that the bass settings were set higher than the treble.
Ah, wah wah, lame stream wusses. Did reality once again spoil your eternal blame game of Pin the Tail on Steve Carell? That’s gotta hurt because you didn’t get to BBQ a dirty white boy … again. What a shame.
What’s weird with the progressive honkyphobes is that instead of being glad that a stack of New Yorkers and tourists didn’t have twisted metal and mortar blown through their vital organs at 1,800 feet per second, they’re ticked that a typical Tea Partier didn’t light the fuse and thereby fulfill their prophecies.
You’d think that the progressives would be happy that our citizens narrowly escaped death and that our minds were once again yanked out of the BS ditch of PC drivel and riveted to the reality that those who regularly attack us don’t hail from Kentucky but Karachi, but then again you would be attributing to the left something that they’re incapable of—namely an admission that they are wrong and that they have once again missed it. No, they’re in a hissy because life ain’t lining up with their liner notes. Darn reality.
Indeed, rather than being honest and saying, “okay, we’ve got to cut this ‘Mr. Rogers is automatically suspect in terror attacks,’ or somebody is going to get killed,” they instead get back on their white hobby horse and try to excuse the psycho Muslim by blaming his attempted mass murderous actions on the threat of being foreclosed on by Milburn Drysdale.
Oh well, this column is just pointing out what everyone who can still think freely already knows to be true: Progressives hate America and will always side against those who love this nation and that for which it stands. Personally, I’d like to thank them for their antipathy toward the USA because it’s sure making me a great living as they present an unending supply of stupid crap to talk about on my show and plenty of fodder for my weekly column.
In the meantime I’m going to go celebrate my 40-year-old whiteness. Yes, I am unashamed of the fact that I like Waylon & Willie’s music, think Jesus trumps Mohammed, have a job, say “okie dokey,” salute our flag, think Rosie is repulsive, and like hunting and fishing. And should I ever fall on hard times, I swear here and now that I won’t plot the bombing of a major city because I can’t pay my rent. But that’s just me … I’m a 40-year-old white guy.