What a massive hemorrhoid on London’s glutes the G20 protesting goobers were, eh? As I watched them riot this past week I kept thinking, “What are you getting so PO’ed about? You’ve got a G20 Anti-Capitalism, Anti-War, Kum Ba Yah, Green Dream Team headed up by B-HO himself. Dial down, you idiots. Chill. The tree humpers are in charge. You’re winning. Go hump a tree. Smoke some weed. Take a bath. Buy a new bong. Eat some Ramen. Put ‘Imagine’ on your iPod, loop it and listen to it over and over as you kiss your lover. Just celebrate and quit breakin’ stuff, you whiny little postmodern Ernest T. Bass wannabes.”
Yes, it was quite the freak show last week in Londonistan. The dirty, smelly hyper-activists were smashing the windows of banks, businesses and homes, spitting in cops’ faces, tossing Molotov cocktails at people and property while donning the requisite black-hooded sweatshirts, matching bandanas, face masks and mirrored sunglasses. Y’know, to me nothing screams “I own my beliefs” like anonymity. Grimy, malodorous little wussies.
Not only were the vandals an offense for me to behold but they were equally repulsive to listen to as they blamed capitalism for Fiona Apple’s short-lived career and made about as much sense as South Carolina’s Miss Teen USA 2007 did when queried about why 1/5th of United States high schoolers can’t point to America on a map.
No sooner did I finish that thought when it dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, I should become more like these radicals—minus, of course, the body odor, the hoodies, the violence and the Miss Teen South Carolina anti-intellectual crud. Yep, perhaps I should follow their protesting antics because these pain-in-the-butt activists are effecting change.
Yep, that’s it. I can do more than I’m doing. I’m going to go Tea Party nuts. Heretofore, I have been quite active via my column on Townhall.com and through my daily talk show ClashRadio.com as I go after these cultural coarsening secular and socialist zombies day after day, but y’know, there’s nothing like the TV cameras showing thousands of people gathered in one place who are sick and tired of our government’s generational theft and anti-American shtick. For that a bunch of bodies are needed.
Release the hounds!