Effervescent Evangelicals Ogle Obama

Posted: Jul 12, 2008 10:43 PM
Effervescent Evangelicals Ogle Obama

I’m blown away by how bubbly some supposed evangelicals have become over Barack Obama. Several major “evangelical” ministers, Christian entertainers (whatever that means), and lesser pundits have thrown their names and crowds behind BHO for POTUS.

I’d like to name their names, but that would somehow flatter them and then their posse would email/call me and I’d have to talk to them and act nice and stuff, which is about as appealing to me as watching Joan Rivers make out with Cher.

Before I’m labeled a hater by the Ichthus wing of the Obama camp, I’d like to clarify for all the whiners everywhere who are having a hissy over my opposition to Obama that I don’t hate him nor do I want to cut his nuts off like Jesse Jackson would like to. The only people I hate are the crappy drivers down here in Miami, al Qaeda and of course all dry cleaners.

In addition, I’m sure Obama’s a nice guy, for a politician—except, obviously, not to the baby he’s completely cool with aborting. And that’s what our pigmentally-enhanced junior state senator from Chicago is: a politician. Nothing more, nothing less (insert yawn here).

Heck, even his sensei for the last 20 years, the pastor of good tidings of great joy (plus bigotry, anti-American rhetoric and whacked conspiracy theories), the reverend Jeremiah Wright, has said the above about his famous disciple. Yep, Barack’s main holy man stated as he tumbled beneath the bus Obama flung him under a couple of months ago that BHO puts the Mac in Machiavelli.

But what does Reverend Wright know about Obama’s character? And what does BHO’s uber-liberal secular to le core voting record prove?

Apparently nothing to some of God’s easy-to-fleece sheep who have blown off the moral/cultural imperatives inherent within Scripture for their svelte savior’s savoir-faire. (Notice the French? We’d better speak French or BHO will get PO’ed.)

No, to some of the hip and groovy progressive Christians, it doesn’t matter that Obama’s worldview is not a Christian one but rather a secular point of view. (BTW, a worldview, for believers unfamiliar with the term, is not what you get when you have a window seat on Delta.)

You did know, Christian, that Scripture has a worldview inherent within its text that . . . uh . . . didn’t get there by accident, and you don’t get to vote on, and which you do not need an Ovaltine decoder ring or a Windtalker to unscramble. Yep, the Christian worldview ain’t foggy and is definitely not liberal. Matter of fact, on pretty much every issue it rubs up against it comes out conservative—and on some issues hard-edge conservative.

So, my lost liberal brethren, if you’re feeling frisky and you’re open and brave, I’ve got a book you’ve got to read after you finish reading The Audacity of Hype for the fourth time. It’s by David Klinghoffer and is titled How Would God Vote? Why the Bible Commands You to Be a Conservative. Check it out, but don’t let your friends see you do it. It could cost you some buddies . . .