Why God Needs the Atheists

Posted: Jun 02, 2007 12:00 AM
Why God Needs the Atheists

I get two things out of the nihilistic existence of the atheists: 1) astonishment and 2) a more rational faith. I’d like to thank you, my anti-God buddies, for both.

From an astonishment stand point, I gotta hand it to you guys . . . you have huge cojones! Think about it, Christian: These folks are taking on God, bashing the Bible and slapping the church with only a 50/50 chance that they’re either right or eternally screwed—and yet, they still plow forward with their faith in no faith.

What incredible, though non-religious, belief and zeal these God-deniers possess! You should bow and kiss their rings, all you Christians who are afraid to stand up for your convictions.

Say what you will, saint, but you must give the atheists major props for their steely nerve. Heck, most Christians won’t say anything about Rosie, radical Islam, ecclesiastical heresies and hypocrisies or the licentious secular progressive agenda—but these dudes have no problem at all flying the finger at Jehovah.

We could use some of their brazenness in standing for what we “believe,” don’t ‘cha think, Pastor Zero Nuts? Yes, in the daring department, I salute the atheist.

Not only do the atheists hold me gobsmacked for their courage in light of a . . . shall we say . . . a gloomy eternity (even if they’re a bubble off level in their beliefs), but they also embolden me to be more serious about my knowledge of the God, the world He created, human kind and scripture.

Indeed, their full throttle defiance of the Creator helps me to shore up aspects of my Christianity that are illogical, insipid and inconsistent. Again, muchos gracias, Jesus-haters, for keeping me on my toes.

Admit it, Church. If it weren’t for the atheists busting our chops on a regular basis and asking us all the wrong questions, we’d be dumber than a bag of hammers, more duplicitous than OJ before Ito and ickier than Johan van der Sloot. The reason being? Well, we don’t church the church any longer. Generally speaking, you and I don’t get that kind of intellectual challenge and intense rebuke within our entertainment churches.

C’mon Christian, you and I both know that most pastors can’t challenge a congregant to quit being a stupid hypocritical loser because that might cost him his crowd and the all-important tithe and offering—and we cant have that now, can we?

Face it, feeble faith holders, we have created in the American church an insular and gooey, hot-tub religion of feelings . . . nothing more than feelings . . . that non-religious thinking people despise. Subsequently, most nice Christians can’t answer an earnest question from a third grader concerning the basics of their faith, much less field some of the serious smack a provocative Hitchens would throw their way.

This inability to give a rational answer to those who ask you why you believe what you believe is both a shame and a sin. It’s a shame in that your ignorance makes you look goofy and lazy, and it’s a sin in that it is in direct disobedience to the command to love God with all of your mind. Remember that scripture? You don’t? Don’t worry about it, God loves you anyway. Hey, did you get your tickets to see Carmen at Disneyland this weekend? Yeehaw!

I know some of you are going to think I have wandered off the reservation, but I get more out of listening to Christopher Hitchens than I do Creflo Dollar. I profit more from watching CNN than TBN. Bill Maher benefits me more than Benny Hinn. How? Well, these men and their provocative questions, egregious and oft times’ erroneous assaults and merciless diatribes drive me to take stock of what I supposedly believe and what I do as a believer.

Where the church is insane, inane, lame and tame, you can bet your backside the atheist will be there to point it out. As the church, we cannot blow off this rebuke just because it wasn’t served with a smile and a mint on a pillow. Correction, that’s correct—no matter who delivers it—will do the wise good.

So, my brethren, let the atheists rage, let them ask their old and already-been-answered questions, let them tie your mind in a temporary knot and let them point out where we the church are goofy.

If you properly react to the atheists’ scat, you’ll end up with a more solid grasp on your faith, the incense and non-sense will be scrubbed from your life and you just might dust them in a debate next time they queue up with their tired quips.

This is why God needs the atheists: to help the Christian not waft in his profession of faith.

One more thing: If you need some summer beach reading to help you run circles around the anti-God crowd ‘til you take the big dirt nap, get R.C. Sproul’s book, Defending Your Faith: An Introduction to Apologetics.