The Se7en Deadly Sins: Lust

Posted: Aug 12, 2006 9:53 AM

Lust is the last vice on the Se7en Deadly Sins list. You’re not going to find me pontificating from personal high ground down to you sexual plebeians when it comes to this sin. (I can, however, speak with authority when it comes to sins like pride—because I have never had a problem with arrogance . . . I can proudly say.) (In addition, I have never had a problem with envy or anger like my rich jerk of a neighbor who has a gorgeous wife, a beautiful home and a brand new Porsche.)

Before I became a Christian in my early twenties, I was raised on a steady diet of Playboy, Penthouse and MTV. So, from a motivational and pursuit standpoint, I had more in common with Tommy Lee than I did with Billy Graham. For many moons I did not treat my body as a temple, but rather as an amusement park. By way of confession, if you’re struggling with the negative soul and life effects of giving free reign to the gibbering monkey in your pants, I can empathize and can honestly state: I feel your pain.

Lust has got a hold on our culture’s short and curlies. Stevie Wonder can see that. We’ve got a bazillion dollar internet and terrestrial porn industry. I bet it won’t be long ‘til personal computer companies start installing keypads with splash guards. Our nation’s got tribes of teenage boys and girls who have been raised on Lindsay, Britney and who are more sexually savvy than sailors were 20 years ago.

Older people are buying into the cult of sexual pleasure also. Old women who should be growing old with their sexuality and dignity are instead donning mini skirts to show off their beef jerky-like legs and are having tether balls crammed into their chest in a desperate attempt to relive their college days. Here’s a tip for you grandmothers out there: Don’t wear a mini skirt if you are also wearing Depends; we can see them. And here’s some advice for you old guys: if you have man boobs, as Dennis Miller says, don’t wear tight T shirts; it confuses the children. And please, please would you guys quit making out in public? It doesn’t look right. I have to watch several Disney movies just to clear my head after seeing seniors gettin’ after it during a summer matinee.

Yes, the First Church of the Crotch is alive and well in the USA. We’re being sold by these icky evangelists the greatly exaggerated notion that we’ll find nirvana via our sexual nerve endings. Indeed, the prophets of porn tell us, we will forever be fulfilled if we zealously pursue our erotic passions. Look, if the 64-year old, over-sexed Stones’ front man Mick Jagger “can’t get no satisfaction,” then that should tip off all of us that there might not be salvation through sex and there could, just maybe, be something more to life.

So why do we all leap on the lust bandwagon like a dog jumps on a June bug? Dorothy Sayers said it is from the sheer exuberance of the animal spirit and the fact that people are cosmically bored and discontent. I think, in addition to Dorothy’s assessment, that lust, at the end of the day, simply feels good. And being the bored, visionless beasts that we are (without God), if it feels good, then we’ll do it.

The only problem with the obvious pleasure derived from lust is that it has an expiration date on it, and when this milk turns bad the ramifications can be devastating. When sex is devoid of love, and an intimate act turns into a mechanized splat, then the stage is set for folks to be used & abused and diseased & depressed—all because this really cool thing, namely sex, got ripped out of its proper context.

When we’re getting wooed by Madison Avenue to get irresponsibly wacky with our wedding tackle, they fail to mention that there is often lasting negative and/or traumatic emotional consequences, that herpes and Chlamydia don’t make one happy and clappy, that abortion can be an a** kicker, that teenage pregnancies are usually a ticket to poverty, and that a good guy and a good girl normally won’t look to marry the over-used sexual village bicycle that you now have foolishly become.

So, what does one do with the fire that burns south of the border? Well, you can do what I do on a daily basis. Cry out to God for help! Secondly, you can choose to not buy into the BS that gets shoved down your throat every day from hamburger ads and VH1 that sells you the “if you’ve got sex, you’ve got everything, Baby” schlock. Thirdly, get a life so that you don’t have time to masturbate for four hours a day. And fourthly, renew your mind with the scripture that shows the context in which God created this awesome gift of sex to be expressed: i.e., within the milieu of marriage between a man and woman who love each other. It is within this safe haven of love that sex is good, I’m talkin’ really good. At least that’s what the scripture says. But then again, what does God know?

* has been upgraded! We have added several new features to our show such as: Skunk Boy's "Evolution's Holdover", Dr. Full's "You can be a Loser". In addition, Giles has a new :60 spot called "Hey, Monkey Butt", a ten minute "Growth Stimulant" session for personal oomph and he has a excellent interview with Kevin McCullough, author of the book, Musclehead Revolution.