A hunter’s take on Cheney’s mistake

Posted: Feb 18, 2006 9:05 AM
The desperate liberal media is hanging on to this Cheney story like Bill Clinton clinchin’ Border’s last copy of the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit issue. What a hissy fit NBC’s chief screaming correspondent, the pink shirted, David Gregory threw. This guy made Ron Burgundy come across like a Tibetan monk high on Thai stick. I was waiting for him to start screaming, “I’m David Gregory . . . I’m David Gregory . . . and David Gregory is a very important person! People know me, and I have many leather bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany!”

Yeah, if you look closely on the video from last Monday you can see a spring blow out from the side of Dave’s premature gray scalp. Dial down, Davey. Back off the espresso. Take a deep breath . . . relax . . . walk it off . . . put on some Kenny G and do some T'ai Chi or something . . . ‘cause you’re scaring the children.

Is the Cheney story the story we should be obsessing on right now? Well, in a word: No. Granted, he is the Veep, and he did shoot someone; but come on, this is not the most important news item in the US this week. Britney Spears’ mysterious trip to a Malibu clinic is what should have our focus. Jeez, people . . . get with it! Britney could be ill.

Hey hysterical media chum suckers, if you want to obsess about a gun (or guns) in South Texas, why don’t you travel a little further southwest from Corpus Christi to Laredo where U.S. authorities just snatched ready-to-detonate IEDs, materials for making 33 more, military style grenades, 26 grenade triggers, large quantities of AK-47 and AR-15 assault rifles, 1280 rounds of ammo, silencers, machine gun assembly kits, 300 primers, bullet proof vests, police scanners, sniper scopes, narcotics and cash from Mexican dope dealers? Now, Dave, there’s an all-beef patty for you and all the other reporters suffering from mad cow disease to sink your teeth into.

Look, Bush and Cheney will be hated and vilified by the spurned and pouty, short-fused, laughable left ‘til Jesus comes back to clean house. If the President or Vice President wore white after Labor Day, had white wine with beef, swam without waiting the full 30 minutes after they had eaten lunch or drank milk after the expiration date there would be a Moses-like media hailstorm over these faux pas. And I guarantee that if Cheney had not accidentally shot Mr. Harry Whittington, they still would have made a huge deal out of him purposefully slaying Mr. Bob White and his feathered la familia.

I can tell you, as a hunter, that the only true story in this bad chain of Cheney events is the VP forgetting one of the basic commandments of safe gun handling, namely: Thou Shalt Know Thy Target and What is Beyond It. It is scary that a guy who’s been hunting as long as Mr. Cheney blew past this non-negotiable. Hopefully, the Vice President’s SNAFU will cause us hunters to think it through a little bit more before we wail on our prey.

There is no excuse for what Cheney did, and thank God, he offered none. If the culprit had been Ted Kennedy or Ray Nagin, we would have seen Olympic grade obfuscation and blame shifting not seen since OJ’s trial. And you know that the hypocritical, wedged-up-the-left’s-backside reporters would have bought Ted and Ray’s take on this situation gone awry. Somehow Bush and Cheney would have been blamed for purposefully not offering a government funded gun safety course for these confused and ignorant, yet well-meaning, hunters. And the wheels of the bus would go ‘round and ‘round, ‘round and ‘round, ‘round and ‘round, the wheels of the bus go ‘round and ‘round all the liberal day.

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