The Criticism of Poodles

Posted: Dec 31, 2005 9:05 AM

If you have decided that you’re going to be a bulldog and actually do something with your life—BEWARE!  You’ll be attacked by rabid human poodles that are envious of your newfound determination.

Poodles don’t like it when their buddies leave them in order to become accomplished bulldogs.  Whiny, two-legged poodles hate it when you cease to be the coddled, frilly lap pooch and actually want to get out in the wild, test your skills, catch a bull or do something besides cry, whine, yap and have your hair teased at the salon.  Your soon-to-be ex-poodle buddies will freak when they realize you’ve left them in their pink, air-conditioned dog houses to launch out on your own and conquer your dream, get in the game and test your skills.

Therefore, Mr. and Ms. Bully, you should expect the shriveled-testes, over-coifed, painted toenail Tinkerbells to whiz on your dream.  They do this because you shame them.  By your going for it and actually living out your passion, you remind them of what mediocre, rut-addled poodles they have become.  And you can bet they’ll try to force their fears and opinions on you regarding why you should be like them . . .  why you should stay with them in their comfy, boring and safe, Lysol disinfected doghouses. 

Thus, my Bulldog compadres, don’t listen to the opinions and criticisms of the Poodles.  Why should you subject your goals to some pale-skinned, bad-perm housedog?  I’m talking about some unqualified blowhard who has convinced himself that his uninformed Poodle opinion is somehow relevant to Bulldog issues concerning your life and desires.

Do not listen to them, or you will become like them. 

Have this Bulldog attitude: “If you can’t even run your own life, Ms. Poodle, I’ll be damned if you’ll run mine.” 

Let the Poodle’s derision and lack of encouragement motivate you.  Your success will be your greatest revenge.  Be radical for your vision and dream to such an extent that you leave the Poodles behind, choking in your dust. 

Hey, Poodle—eat my dust!

Look, at the end of the day, your life is between you and God.  Not you and an anemic Poodle.  So live by the convictions you have in your heart.

Why should you—a great Bulldog—be bothered by the slings and arrows of Poodles whom you should not give one-tenth of a flip about?  Why should you give some Poodle the power over whether or not you feel good about yourself and your unique purpose in life? 

Here are five quotes that describe why you must beware of critics with Poodle attitudes:

1. Brendan Behan:  “Critics are like eunuchs in a harem.  They’re there every night.  They see it done every night.  They see how it should be done every night.  But they can’t do it themselves.”
2. C. Garbett:  “Any fool can criticize, and most of them do.”
3. Samuel Goldwyn:  “Don’t pay attention to critics—don’t even ignore them.”
4. John Osborne:  “Critics are a dissembling, contemptible race of men.  Asking a player what he feels about critics is like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs.” 
5. Elbert Hubbard:  “To escape criticism—do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”

I know I’ve been hard on the little Sally Poodles who criticize Bulldogs.  But you know what?  I can honestly say I love my enemies who give me a hard time.  I really do.  I love every bone in their heads.

Remember this, Bulldogs:  The most important critic is time. 

And time is on the Bulldog’s side . . . yes it is.

“Its name is Public Opinion.  It is held in reverence.  It settles everything.  Some think it is the voice of God.  Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.”  Mark Twain.

Giles’ new book, The Bulldog Attitude: Get It or Get Left Behind, has just been released!  It is guaranteed to take the poo out of poodles and give them the Bulldog Attitude.  It is a great read for individuals, families, churches and corporations who wish to excel.  Also, logon to, and check out Doug's new interview with Tom Bethell, author of The Politically Incorrect Guide to Science.