Unholy Toledo

Posted: Oct 23, 2005 12:05 AM

There was no shortage of stupidity in Toledo last week.   The morons were definitely out in full force with the inbred Virginian Snaggle-toothed Nazis taking on the Riotous Could-we-get-more-pathetic-if-we-tried Vandals in a full-fledged moron-match to see which group could look the most dim-witted and despicable.  I’m pretty certain both groups won (or lost) because both parties came out looking like complete idiots.

First of all, what the heck is wrong with the Toledo city official who green lighted a Neo Nazi group’s request to protest in a section of the city comprised mostly of blacks?  Hey, five-watt light bulb permit guy—why not let the sick, Sieg Heils have their HitlerFest in a field way out in the country or at the bottom of a deep lake or anywhere besides in the LaGrange neighborhood,  huh?  Look, I know that these tightly shorn, yet-to-evolve lads have first amendment rights and freedom of speech and blah, blah, blah, but why don’t you help the country a bit and permit their protest where it will cause the least amount of conflict and possible harm to human life and property?  What do think about that idea, Mr. Duh?

Secondly, here’s a big FYI for all you Nazi sympathizers:  I don’t know if you have watched any TV or listened to any radio in the last 60 years, but Nazism is kinda on the skids.  It didn’t come off that well for your founder, and I believe your cause took a major butt-whuppin’ way back in WWII.  Yes, I’m fairly positive that the “good idea” Adolf had ended up not working out so hot for him or for those who bought it.  Did you not get that brief?  Yeah, that’s what happened.  So you might want to put down that tattered and highlighted copy of Mein Kampf and pick up a copy of Marvin Gaye’s song, “What’s Going On?” and realign. 

Thirdly, to the riotous hordes . . .  you’ve got to get a plan B for when natural disasters strike or Nazis demonstrate because your plan A paints you as being sub-human and will, more than likely, eventually get you shot and killed.   Apparently there is growing gaggle of the GP that can be counted on to ransack cities after hurricanes, Nazi protests or following championship games. 

It appears that we’ve got a small group we now can depend on to tear stuff down if they don’t like something or if they feel somewhat entitled, and I’m getting the feeling that they’re looking for any infinitesimal excuse to act like a vicious infant.  I mean . . . what’s going to set them off next?  Long lines at Taco Bell, sold out tickets to Snoop’s concert, no booths available at the Olive Garden, a two-week waiting period for 22” rims?

The cherry on top of this multi-layered, dysfunctional cake is that we’re told we have to understand the plunderers . . . yea, feel their pain.  Look, I understand getting ticked off and wanting to mess someone up.  I feel that way at Starbucks every morning when I’m standing behind a JLo wannabe who uses nine words to order her coffee.  It’s all I can do to keep from pile driving her skull with a big French coffee press from their display rack for eating into my schedule and for polluting the atmosphere with her preening self-love.  However, I do not and will not understand villainous thugs anymore than I want to understand the goose-stepping, cement-brained Neo-Nazis.  Crud is crud no matter how you frame it.

And please, don’t give me this “poverty made me do it” bovine scatology.  I was watching cable news the other night and one guy with a PhD, which I think in his case stands for “Piled High and Deep,” stated that the riots were caused by the frustration that arises out of lack.  Oh yeah?  Well, call me strange, but when I was a very broke young guy just starting out with no one helping me, riotous looting—even as a former rowdy, heavy- drinking drug user—was not on my to-do list if I was running low on green backs. 

Oddly enough, I got my butt in gear, got an education, went to work and started slogging it out.  BTW, in regards to an American being broke, even the poorest of the poor still have a pretty posh existence here in the States.  We’re talking poverty with a little p.  As a matter of fact, in regards to the poverty card being played with this Toledo debacle, I did a freeze frame on some of the roll and saw Dickies, Nikes, neck chains, nice sports jerseys, etc., so don’t prattle on about how “no cash equals chaos.”  If you want to see real poverty, come with me on one of my trips into Africa and I’ll show you poverty, Dr. Blame Shift.

Since this great land is still the land of opportunity, my suggestion to the violent ones “without” is this:  Why don’t you take all the energy you normally exert in choosing which bandana you’ll wear to hide behind, what moving vehicle you’ll pelt with a fist- sized rock, how much crack you’ll smoke before breakfast, determining what alley has the best bottles for Molotov cocktails and what hole you can slink into post-riot and focus that get-up-and-go into getting your GED, going to college and giving your life to Jesus, Moses, Buddha, Tony Robbins, Oprah or someone of higher power?

And lastly, know this for certain:  I’ve got zero tolerance for riotous knuckleheads.  Many of the working hard/playing hard types are also getting increasingly sick of this out of control nonsensical criminal activity.  Therefore, I suggest you change how you work out your rage.   If you don’t, I predict that one of these days you’re going to overturn the wrong neighborhood, and things might not go so well with you.  Like the old proverb says, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

Logon to www.ClashRadio.com and pick up a copy of Giles' latest teaching DVD, Ruling in Babylon, filmed before a very live audience in Cape Town, South Africa. Also, while there, check out Doug's new interview with Shemane Nugent, wife of rocker/activist, Ted Nugent.