So I Married an Axe Murderer

Posted: May 14, 2005 12:00 AM

Hey girls, if your husband ever gets convicted for chasing children with a chainsaw, and then gets released from our ?justice system? without having his frontal lobe scraped with a cement trowel . . . you might not want to let him around you and yours ever again. That?s a simple can-do, isn?t it? I mean . . . that makes sense, right?  I know it used to, but nowadays, common sense doesn?t seem to be . . . well . . . so common.

The Mother?s Day slayings of Krystal Tobias and Laura Hobbs by Laura?s dad were probably the most avoidable murders of this millennium?if Mrs. Hobbs? common sense would have kicked into gear and caused her not to let scary should-have-never-been-released-from-prison Jerry around herself and Laura.  Look, I hold dung beetle Mr. Hobbs primarily culpable for the murders, but c?mon . . . Mrs. Hobbs should have been a more substantial impediment to this freshly freed demented man?s satanic bents.

What is wrong with the woman who?ll let a man?husband or not?with a rap sheet that includes twenty plus violent offenses, with one that entails wielding a chainsaw at kids, who, in addition, stated several times he wanted to kill her, still be allowed to share air with her?

Ladies . . . get a little more protective of yourself and your kids.  Duh.  Get a little bit more dignified and start shopping elsewhere for a good man verses some goofy ghoul. Get a tad bit more self esteem and stick a Smith Wesson model 29 in the face of any dill-weed who threatens anyone with physical or sexual abuse and tell him you plan on pumping him full of hot 240 grain hollow points if he shows his sorry backside around you ever again.

Women, if not for your sake, how about for your kid?s sake? Wise up . . . get an attitude and trust your BS detector when it starts red flagging you to flee the wrath of such a haggard piece of vile humanity.  Yes, please grease the pole of your red flag on a regular basis so that it comes up more proficiently when you interface with the profane.

Since common sense seems to be uncommon for a few women who put themselves and their children in harms way, let me give you 12 signs to look out for when dating or courting an individual.  If these things manifest in your relationship with the opposite sex, do us all a favor and haul butt in the opposite direction and keep hoping and scoping for a better man.

Ask yourself these questions about your potential suitor:

1. Has he ever chased kids with a chainsaw?
2. Is he violent in other ways minus the chainsaw?
3. Does he think it is okay to have sex with kids?
4. Does he verbally abuse you and/or your children?
5. Does he have a sexually transmitted disease[s]?
6. Does he wig out when under minor stress?
7. Is he paranoid and delusional?
8. Does he think A Clockwork Orange is a really funny comedy?
9. Can he hold a job longer than Ashlee Simpson can hold a note?
10. Is he an abusive drunk?
11. Does he have ?666? tattooed behind his left ear lobe?
12. Has he had multiple bad face-lifts, and does he like to sleep with teen-age boys?

For all those ladies out there who are dumb enough to think that they can change a guy once they marry him, let me let you in on a little secret: No, you probably can?t.  The leopard does not change his spots.  Sure, there is the God-factor and the Damascus road experience thing out there waiting for certain Paul?s, but, by and large, I wouldn?t bank on any major changes once you say, ?I do.?  As a matter of fact, I would expect an intensification of those ?little bad things? turning into full-blown tsunamis.  That being said, you might want to do a bit more objective homework to make sure he doesn?t one day wreck your home.

While I?m on the topic of morons who let murders around innocent people, Hey Texas, what happened to your sense of justice?  How . . . how . . . did this leather-faced wannabe get out of your prison system.  What happened to the all the hair trigger judges in Texas? How come you decided to go soft on horrible Hobbs?

If there ever were a guy to exterminate or at least lock away forever in the weird ward of some Texas dungeon, it would have been ole? Jer.  I hope and pray that all the judges and lawyers who let Hobbs slide after showing his dark side have a real difficult time sleeping until they publicly confess how completely wrong they were in letting this wretch go and until they labor with zeal for the rest of their days to make certain such miscreants are disallowed forever from walking our neighborhoods.  Anger management classes . . .please!  Idiots.  Bring out the dunce cap for these men.

My ClashPoint is this: Whatever you got to do and wherever you have got to go to get freed from slavish soul ties to soulless men, please . . . please girlfriend, do it quick?because your life, the lives of your kids and the safety of our communities trump the lives of these losers.

If you are around a disaster waiting to happen, you must leave him no matter how difficult it is.  Believe it or not, being lonely isn?t as bad as being with a loser.  In addition, there actually are guys out there who are not abusive, who love genuinely and sacrificially, who have good manners and are providers and protectors for those under their care.  Sure, they?re getting hard to find; however, with a little prayer and a determination to not settle for anything less, I bet you?ll be able to find some man that trumps the current chump that doesn?t cherish you.

JUST RELEASED!  Giles? first hunting DVD.
Join Doug Giles and Charles Rodriguez as they hunt a giant Nilgai Antelope and a massive Texas Dall ram at the world famous Brady Ranch.

In addition to these two chases we have included the highlights of eight wild boar hunts, brought to you at high speed and in your face. These toothy beasts were taken at close range with big bore double rifles. Awesome guns. Awesome additional footage!  Buy it now on Clash Radio.