All the news fit for the bird cage

Posted: Sep 17, 2007 12:00 AM
All the news fit for the bird cage

By this time, I’m sure you’ve all heard about the latest scandal at the New York Times. But just in case you happened to miss it, it seems that the newspaper surrendered the last few vestiges of its once vaunted objectivity by giving a huge discount on their disgusting ad attacking General David H. Petraeus. Instead of having to fork over the usual $186,000 to run their abomination, the group was charged a mere $65,000.

The ad was headlined “General Petraeus or General Betray Us?” I have no idea who came up with the line, but it certainly reminds me of the sophomoric drivel with which Al Franken has carved out his writing career.

What is most disconcerting about the entire episode is that the Democrats running for the presidency haven’t voiced an objection to the smear. As a friend of mine observed, the general has devoted his life to defending this country, whereas the only thing Hillary Clinton has ever defended is Bill.

The thing that surprised me is that the Times, which has long served the same role for the DNC that Pravda served for Joseph Stalin, felt they had to cut the tariff for MOo, after all, is funded in good part by George Soros, a financial speculator who, simultaneously, gives Hungarians, Jews and egomaniacal billionaires, a bad name, is allegedly worth $8,600,000,000, although I wouldn’t give a plugged nickel for him.

Soros claimed in 2004 that the most important item on his agenda was to defeat George Bush. And yet he donated only about $30 million to the Kerry campaign. Why such a pittance? Did he think he’d need every last dollar of the remaining $8,570,000,000 in order to survive? Talk about saving for a rainy day!

I must confess that Soros reminds me of one of my uncles. He was the richest guy in the family, and he never passed up an opportunity to remind one and all of that fact. Which I thought was strange, seeing as how he’d made his pile on the black market during World War II. Like Soros, Uncle Nate was a leftist who was constantly bad-mouthing America. What’s more, he was also a penny-pincher. I still remember when I was a kid how he’d drop by our apartment and brag about driving around to find the cheapest bananas in town. I also recall how good I felt pointing out to the smart shopper that he’d probably spent more on gas than he’d saved on his damn bananas.

But getting back to Soros, what sort of world is this anyway when a financial speculator, a pimple on the fanny of humanity, feels entitled to demean a United States general? And what can you say about the likes of Obama, Clinton and Edwards, who stood by in shameful silence, lest Mr. Soros decided not to dip into his piggy bank on their behalf?

In conclusion, let me just say that what makes sharing a planet with liberals so much harder than sharing the space with lions, tigers and Islamic terrorists, is that under no circumstances, no matter the season, are we ever allowed to shoot them.