No Longer An Orphan

Burt Prelutsky
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Posted: Mar 19, 2007 12:00 AM
No Longer An Orphan

My mother died in 1981. Inasmuch as my father had passed away in 1969, that meant that I was officially an orphan at the age of 41. Or so it seemed. As it happens, I had no reason to fret about being parentless. When you live in California, you don’t have to settle for just one mommy and daddy. Instead, like everyone else who lives in this state of bliss, I have an endless supply.

These wonderful people all work in Sacramento, where they devote their lives exclusively to worrying about my well-being. My own parents, I can assure you, couldn’t hold a candle to these various members of the assembly and the state senate. For, whereas Sam and Bella Prelutsky were content to pressure me to get good grades, not play with matches and to finish my dinner, Ted Lieu, Jared Huffman, Tony Mendoza and Elaine Alquist, are out to make certain that I never again come into contact with trans fats. Alex Padilla and Carole Migden want to make sure that mind-boggling nutritional information clutters up every last menu in the state. Jenny Oropeza’s major concern is that I never again have to see anyone light up a cigarette on a state beach. Lloyd Levine is dedicating his life to banishing incandescent bulbs. Sally Lieber wants to outlaw spanking, and Darrell Steinberg’s dream is for the state to finance savings accounts for all newborns, including, no doubt, those born to illegal aliens.

Frankly, although I appreciate their concern, I can do without all these frustrated nannies. I appreciate that these 10 busybodies have my best interests at heart, but my instinct is to tell them all to butt out. On the other hand, I realize that if we’re going to insist on electing more and more bureaucrats to make more and more laws we have nobody but ourselves to blame when they start sticking their noses into everybody’s business.

Not too surprisingly, the one thing that these 10 people have in common is that they're all Democrats. Being a Democrat, after all, means harboring the goofy notion that government always knows best. In a liberal’s wet dream, all money would be in the hands of left-wing politicians, who would then dole it out to us in the form of a weekly allowance.

It shouldn't surprise anyone that wherever the Left takes power -- be it the Soviet Union, Cuba, China, East Germany, Venezuela or Sacramento -- tyranny inevitably ensues.

Today, they want to ban spanking; tomorrow, they’ll want to disarm honest citizens and confiscate private property willy-nilly. Today, it’s trans-fats; tomorrow it’s that doggone incandescent bulb in Miss Liberty’s torch.