Father Donovan announces he is running a Christmas play at the mall, so Stan Smith, the conservative Christian CIA agent/idiot dad, expects to play Jesus Christ on the cross. He says, "I'm the most devout member of the church," and he also says, "When it comes to Christianity, that's the money shot." Stan is told he's too fat and is cast as Santa Claus. When he discovers that the part of Jesus has gone instead to the show's bisexual space alien character, Roger, who boasts he's working on his "savior bulge," Stan beats Roger senseless.
Later, people watch the shocking TV news footage of "Santa" beating "Jesus." A reporter says "Santa" used "anti-Jesus slurs" as he yelled, "You don't deserve to be on that cross, you lazy wine-loving bisexual!" The pope holds the phone and says, "Are you watching this (bleeped S-word)?" The priest complains to Stan that church leaders are chewing his "a-- off." Roger the space alien fondly remembers the beating as he watches and recounts how before he went unconscious, he was "finally able to achieve orgasm."
Senseless violence also was added. As the episode begins, Roger is perfecting his eggnog recipe. Here's how he knows it is just right: He feeds it to a rat in a cage, which then chews off the head of another rat and then explodes in a pile of blood. Later in the episode, Stan shoots a dog he thinks is a "hellhound." Instead, it's a guide dog for a blind man. The blind man then walks into traffic and is run over by a semi.
Some really sick people think these plot happenings are hilarious in a Christmas-themed episode. So much for peace on earth and good will toward men.
This twisted, bloody and relentlessly religion-trashing episode was brought to you by a whole list of advertisers trying to sell things to children and teens: McDonald's, Wrigley's 5 gum, the Sony PlayStation, Apple's iPad, the dancing hip-hop hamsters who sell the Kia Soul automobile, and the new family movie "We Bought a Zoo." Apparently, no one's concerned about the message this sends to children at Christmastime.
Instead, too many spirit-crushing school bureaucrats are outraged that someone might say "merry Christmas" in a classroom. The Batavia City School District in upstate New York explicitly instructed employees, "Expressions related to specific religions, e.g., 'Merry Christmas,' should not be included in any spoken or written remarks."
Superintendent Margaret Puzio thought these well-wishes were an enormous distraction from education: "For me to stand up in front of the whole group and say 'merry Christmas' is almost like the school district putting Christmas before everything else."
How ridiculous! "Merry Christmas" is an expression of good will and kindness. It makes you wonder whether school officials would take less offense at expressions of actual profanity.
In Mercer County, N.J., 16-year-old student Colin Curran complained on The Huffington Post that as he prepared a playlist for an annual "holiday" breakfast for young children, a school adviser stated that the songs could not include the following words: Christmas, Hanukkah, Jesus, God or Santa Claus. "I questioned the logic behind these restrictions and was informed that since we live in an area with many different cultures, our principal does not want to offend anyone with belief-specific music." School officials later claimed to Fox News that the adviser was mistaken to be so restrictive.
Even in Fort Worth, Texas, the bureaucrats are "protecting" the children from Christmas cheer. School district attorney Bertha Bailey Whatley sent a message to staff explaining that the children should not be allowed to exchange gifts or "distribute personal holiday messages" during class. "For example, if students are allowed to exchange cards or small trinkets, the district would be required to allow a student to distribute a religious message with the gift or card," the memo said. How this is (SET ITAL) more (END ITAL) offensive than the Christianity-trashing junk on TV is mind-boggling.
Millions of Americans love during the Christmas season to get a chance to sit down in front of the TV and watch classic specials, such as "A Charlie Brown Christmas," which drew 9.1 million viewers this year, even though it premiered in 1965. No one tears his hair out when Linus reads out loud a story of angels bearing tidings of great joy of a savior born to the world. Forty-six years later, it's still a hit with viewers -- with almost twice as many viewers than "American Dad." And unlike "American Dad," its viewers weren't black-hearted misanthropes.