I'm just an orthodox Jewish hillbilly from Los Angeles

Posted: Nov 24, 2004 12:00 AM

    The left sure knows how to recover from an electoral defeat: slander the electorate.  For some strange reason, liberal activists believe that after 60 million Americans pulled the lever for George W. Bush, the best strategy to win back power is to call those voters stupid.
    The Europeans were first to jump on the ?I hate Americans? bandwagon.  The morning after the election, London?s Daily Mirror ran with the headline: ?How could 59,054,087 people be so dumb??  The Swiss tabloid Blick headlined: ?Are 62 million Americans simply stupid??

    The American left has been no better.  Literally hundreds of letters to the editor across the country have complained that the red state voters were simply dumb.  Before the election, investigators at the University of Maryland informed the public that pro-Bush Americans are only pro-Bush because of willful ignorance and close-minded tenaciousness.  Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), House Minority Leader, actually said that Americans voted for Republicans in 2004 because they ?didn?t know? that Republicans controlled all branches of the government.        

    Then there?s the inimitable Ted Rall, master of subtlety, whose November 11 comic depicted Republicans as a group of inbred, racist morons.  One of the Republicans is a sheeted KKK member exclaiming: ?Teen abortion sluts make me sick!?  Another is a poorly-shaven, bucktoothed truck driver, stating plainly, ?I need me lots of guns to shoot fags!?  Another white trash type adds, ?And Darwinists!  God hates them!?

    Never has liberal scorn for the heartland been as apparent as in the 2004 presidential election.  Remember Howard Dean?s ridiculous statement that he wanted to be the candidate for all those guys with ?Confederate flags in their pickup trucks??  Or John Kerry?s feeble attempt to court those red state hillbillies by mentioning God and making love to firearms: ?My favorite gun is the M-16 that saved my life and that of my crew in Vietnam?? (His favorite candy, by the way, is the Tootsie Roll he once chewed while patrolling the jungles of Vietnam.)

    If only hillbillies voted Bush, I?m an Orthodox Jewish hillbilly who plays violin, listens to Bach, Beethoven and Brahms, graduated from UCLA, and lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts while pursuing a degree in law from the Harvard Law School.  Just like the vast majority of us hillbilly Bush voters, I believe in an active God, and I?m a fan of the National Rifle Association.  I love the police and the military, and I hate criminals and ?freedom fighters.?  I?m a supporter of traditional marriage, and I like paying less taxes and giving more charity.  I?m a vocal opponent of affirmative action, but an active proponent of equal opportunity.  I listen to talk radio and watch Fox News.  I don?t subscribe to the New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, Time or Newsweek.  And I surely don?t watch CNN.

    And just like the vast majority of us hillbilly Bush voters, I?m not a racist or a homophobe.  I?m not one of the idiot white supremacists from American History X, inaccurately portrayed as Republicans who utter the n-word a good deal.  I don?t say ain?t, I shower every day, and I date exclusively outside my family tree.

    Maybe we aren?t as ?nuanced? as some of the ?big city? liberals, but that?s because we believe in the ideas of good and evil.  Perhaps we?re hard line, but that?s because we don?t believe in mushing all politics into a gelatinous mass of root causes so as to provide an excuse for not solving anything.  Perhaps we?re old-fashioned, but we like our morality old-fashioned.  

    It?s easier for liberals to shun or patronize us than to try and fathom such simple-minded folk as we.  It?s easier to label us all ?morons? who love Bush because we hate gays.  It?s certainly more pleasant to pretend that liberal voters are more well-informed and inherently intelligent than conservative voters, rather than facing up to the fact that this country thrives because of the conservative heartland.

    It?s all right.  Let the left continue to write us off as stupid, as dummies who vote out of fear and hatred, rather than out of values and principles.  They fear what they can?t understand.  And as long as they refuse to understand, they?ll continue to lose.