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FIRST-PERSON: Hey, N.Y., don't all kids deserve a mom & dad?

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of
SAN DIEGO (BP)--Every child deserves a mommy and a daddy.

Every child deserves a mommy and a daddy who have covenanted to a lifelong relationship between a man and a woman that is called marriage.


The role of mommy is unique and is best performed by women. The role of daddy is unique and is best performed by men.

Mommies are in the best position to teach children about women in society. Daddies are in the best position to teach children about men in society.

Do you agree -- that while these statements are high and lofty, they still describe what is best for children?

I understand that this is the ideal. I understand that, sadly, divorce does happen. I understand that many children have only one parent, or two sets of parents. I understand that many children only have grandparents or foster parents. I understand that some children are living in a home where the adults are in a same-sex relationship.

But shouldn't the ideal -- that every child deserves both a mommy and a daddy -- serve as the standard?

Apparently, the governor and a majority of lawmakers in the state of New York do not believe so.

That's because June 24, at the 11th hour, they passed a law that radically redefined marriage in their state. By doing so, they issued a strong statement: Not all children are deserving of both a mommy and a daddy. These roles, they seemed to be saying, are not unique to gender.


Those of us who oppose any and all attempts to redefine marriage do so because we are convinced that every child deserves a mommy and a daddy who are living together in a lifelong relationship.

Those who seek to redefine marriage are making a statement about children by advocating a redefinition of terms. They are making one or more of the following statements.

-- Not every child is deserving of a mommy and a daddy -- there are some children who are less deserving of a mommy and a daddy than others.

-- A daddy is not as important as a mommy -- women can be daddies just as well as men.

-- A mommy is not as important as a daddy -- men can be mommies just as well as women.

They, of course, will deny making such statements. Yet in the next breath they will say that every child needs two parents.

They will contend that by redefining marriage, we will be teaching all children to be tolerant and accepting of people who are different than themselves.

That argument, however, is undone by the subsequent lawsuits that have been and will be filed against those who refuse to accept a redefinition of marriage for religious reasons. What they are really saying is that they tolerate and accept all people except those who have different values and beliefs than those deemed "acceptable."


Regardless, the following questions remain to be answered for the proponents of marriage redefinition:

-- Does every child deserve a mommy and a daddy, or not?

-- Does every child deserve a mommy and a daddy who covenant to live together in a lifelong relationship?

-- Is the role of mommy best performed by women?

-- Is the role of daddy best performed by men?

-- Are mommies in the best position to teach children about women in society?

-- Are daddies in the best position to teach children about men in society?

Our answers on this side are clear. It's time that marriage redefinition proponents make theirs clear as well.

Chris Clark is pastor of East Clairemont Southern Baptist Church in San Diego, Calif.

Copyright (c) 2011 Southern Baptist Convention, Baptist Press


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